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In Reply to: Advice posted by Jim LaMattery on April 22, 2005 at 20:53:45:
when you say you think that rick "did what he did" because he was not "satisfied with what the fga community that has left the family have done about the problem" , and that he "'may'..have felt the same way about those in the sga community that were unwilling to prosecute..", what are you saying? rick was clearly a deeply disturbed young man as a result of a bizarre and deeply abusive upbringing. his actions and motivations, whatever his thinking, should not be used, in my opinion, to provide logical support to any course of action healthy individuals take in the wake of the tragedy.
you have made it clear that you got involved in this course of action primarily to come to the aid of your own kids and close relatives. your particular set of circumstances seems to have guided you into your present course, and allowed you to do so w/o great personal harm to other close family members who's needs may have been in conflict w/ that action. i admire your willingness to sacrifice to pursue your chosen course. but i do not see the benefit of implying that rick's death lay at the feet of exmems, fga or sga, who, for whatever reason, did not see your course of action to be the best for their overall situation. could not these individuals too be "individuals who act according to their conscience"?
i do not know much about the brass tacks of what you are doing, tho i do hope that it will succeed in bringing some justice, and ultimately healing to many who were wronged. i also hope that it will serve as an instrument in the process of liberating the many sincere folks, particularly sg's, still trapped in the delusion of the fam. i have no idea what the outcome will be, but i hope your optimism is well founded. and i certainly hope that the wtl foundation comes to fruition as a much needed conduit to help folks move forward.
but do you really think that blaming exmems for rick's death, and using your opinion about what he was thinking to build a case for your position is helpful? and if the current action does not achieve all some hope, does that mean someone else will feel the need to take that type of desperate measure "to instill action" as you put it???
it seems to me that the idea of exmem discussion boards is to give people a chance to discuss and explore questions of how to recover from highly destructive experiences in the family. some may coalesce around your mission. some may be guided in a different direction. but can't we put forth our ideas in an atmosphere of support, even if not all on the same page about every issue?
sorry if i am rehashing old stuff... i was trsavelling and missed a lot of this discussion.but i hope all the best for you and your fine family.
