The psychological abuse

I posted this to my daughter on movingon, it's a follow up to the apology I posted there on Jan. 29th. (http://www.movingon.org/article.asp?sID=1&Cat=21&ID=2569)
"As I was saying to you the other day on the phone, I remember different times when we would talk about how you were hurt (and still do hurt) because of the lifestyle you were raised in and the experiences you were subjected to, through no choice of your own. At first those "talks" ended up in very stormy and acrimonious exchanges. Until I learned to listen and accept that like it or not I was responsible for being one of the major players in the abuse you and your peers suffered from.

My “explanations” about brainwashing, how I was a vulnerable acid head hippy whose idealism got hijacked and manipulated by a charismatic false prophet, how I was subjected to Berg and Co.’s fear & control tactics, all that meant nothing at all to you in those discussions and only upset you further. I had to realize that taking responsibility means you don’t explain it away. You helped me learn to stop trying to explain. Reading movingon also helped me learn that you can’t explain it away. From time to time Jules posted on the exfamily.org board addressing the subject of FG responsibility, which helped me a lot too.I understand why it's insulting to many of you to hear an FG say, "We were victims too, we were brainwashed." Your generation already knows everything and more about the brainwashing angle.

Brainwashing, fear, manipulation: I didn’t address this specifically in my article of apology, except in referring to my participation in the implementing of the Victor program directives. I was more specific in describing the physical bruising spankings and beatings I gave some of you. I didn’t get specific detailing some of the mental and psychological abuse. You were subjected to this in a manner much worse than I ever was. I let myself get into it, I had a choice, but you didn’t.

I remember spending hours day after day after day teaching the latest pubs, GNs, or FSMs like the Techi series, etc. to OC, Jett, or Teen groups. Reading, sermonizing, lecturing you in the latest Bergism. How many times did I say, "...if you don’t wake up to what I’m reading to you now today, if you don’t change and be what God wants you to be today, it will be too late. You won’t be ready. You’ll miss the boat and be stuck with the wolves in the AC system suffering the horrors of the Great Tribulation." Or to top it off, I’d warn you, "...watch out or you’ll end up like Mene." How many times did I pow wow her traumatic testimony? Or I’d spend hours taking personal time reading and lecturing some of you. Especially when you were put on restriction, I spend days re-reading the Techi series to you. I was as devoted as Pol Pot’s most fanatical Khmer rouge followers ever were. The forced indoctrination program I willingly and freely chose to take part in is one of the other things I’ll be ashamed of for the rest of my life. I am so sorry to all of you for that.

Regi, for me it’s really great how we get along now. I’m grateful for the genuine communication we have together.
Dad"