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In Reply to: Wonderful ideas posted by Passing By on February 07, 2005 at 11:59:05:
You say, "We forsook all at one time and then again when we left the family. We were asked to not love mother or father, brother or sister, son or daughter more than Him. This is a different form of forsaking all for them but still has the same ring. What is correct? How can one do it correctly? I suspect there is no global recipe.
"I think to put your wonderful ideas into a real practical approach and witness, those questions need to be also addressed. In those days, most of us had nothing, others have something but how many of us had children to leave behind?"
I firmly believe that I came to the same point in my life just prior to writing my Statement (see Statement of Mr. John LaMattery) that I had come to when I first left all to dedicate my life to service to Christ (via COG). I looked at my life and saw that I had nothing to lose and everything to gain by whatever means necessary to prove to my children that I love them beyond anything else in this world. I put them first in my life. This is what my children were waiting to hear from me: a total 100% commitment to them. Of course they know that I love God, too, but loving Him and loving them should never be at a cross-road no matter what the circumstances. Family doctrines pitted parent against child and this is the truth of it--plain and simple-- and when I saw that by my continuing to hold onto the belief that there were so many 'good' things about our experiences in TF I was unable to see from my children's eyes and to put myself into their shoes. We parents may have become victims of choice (slaves of the chains of conformity forged by our own hands) but our children never shared in that. They were victims because of our choices to remain involved in a situation that no longer held to the pure and righteous goals that we started out believing in and following after.
You said, "Even Berg in his diabolical wisdom said that in order to drop out they also need something to drop in to."
How many of us dragged our old world into our new life of serving God in the first place? I heard that when Jeremy Spencer joined in LA that for a number of months he couldn't even bring himself to touch a guitar. He thought that it was a sin and that it would be 'looking back' and embracing his old life in some way. I had my battles with things from my past when I joined at 23 years old, too. And I imagine that each of us did. It was personal. Well, I believe that I'm going through that same process now. But, first I've had to condemn my past nearly 30 years of association with TF and it's teachings and make a clean and complete break. As time passes I'll see more clearly the difference between the lies that I lived and the truth of God's word in my life. However whatever so-called 'good' I may have done for others the fact remains that no matter how much "good" I may have done it all means nothing compared to the damage brought upon my own precious children--the dark childhood memories of abuse, fear, degradation,...Those are memories they must live with, not I, but they are memories that I (and I alone as their father) am ultimately responsible for because of my decision to remain.
So, what better new life could any parent hope to drop into than being united once again in mind, heart and spirit with ones own dear children? That's what we have to look forward to "dropping" into.
Respectfully,
John
