from the pub section

Don't know who would have the time to scan a lot of the pubs here, but there are some very valuable things in there is one has the time to comb through.

Here is the Watchman's "prophecy from the dead" from 1996, The Family reaction to the suicide of one of their former members. Almost everything in this publication, aside from the fact that he DIED, is not factual and a lie.

Again, they are blaming the victim, as they have done for years, and using lies and misinformation about what really took place. Since this is the standard by which they operate, everything Smith and Smith say about the latest tragedy is for me just as unreliable. For the ones who missed this piece of (fake)history, here it is:

Prophecy About Watchman's Death!

148.P.P.S. (Mama:) In recent years we'd heard reports that Watchman was very unhappy and seemed confused after turning to therapists and psychiatrists for the answers to his problems. In recent months there had been some progress in the reconciliation between Watchman and Katrina, and between Watchman and his children in the Family, and even with Family members. But in early June, an ex-member called our Family in the U.S. to let us know that Watchman had committed suicide, apparently through an overdose of drugs and medicine. We were saddened that Watchman would choose to take his own life. When we asked the Lord if He had anything to say about Watchman's death, we received the following message. We also asked if Watchman might have anything to say, which he did.

149. You may find that some of the ex-members have read the following prophecies before you received them in this GN. One of the main reasons for this is because we needed to give them to Romeo, Watchman's son, right away. We usually don't like to have this type of important information go to others before sharing it with the Family, but in this case, due to the unusual circumstances, we felt it was necessary.

150. (Prophecy, Jesus speaking:) If you do not learn your lessons there on Earth, you will have to learn them over Here--sooner or later. Beware lest any root of bitterness spring up in you, and it grow and flourish and cause great pain and great sorrow. So has it been with this one, who allowed bitterness, self-pity and confusion to rule in his heart and mind, until he thought there was no remedy.

151. I am the Maker of life! I love life and I give life, and I call each one Home in My time, according to My purpose. It is not My will that any should take his own life before his time, for this is not according to My highest plan. Satan runs throughout the whole Earth deceiving and seeking whom he may entrap and ensnare and devour. I love life and I give life, but Satan hates life and seeks to destroy it prematurely, to snuff it out and to hinder. He is the author of doubt, discouragement and despair.

152. This one, Watchman, was buffeted about with every wind of doctrine, for he trusted not in Me, but in his own arm. He leaned to his own understanding and did not acknowledge Me in all his ways, therefore I was not able to direct his paths. He chose of his own free will to walk down the broad road, and it led to destruction. He was cut off before his time, by his own hand, and is now having to pay the consequences. Follow not in his ways, but learn and be wise!

153. These are decisions of his own choosing. This is the fruit of leaning to his own understanding. Therefore he has chosen to be cut off before his time.

154. But My mercy is from everlasting to everlasting, and at last this one has come into My arms! At last he is able to look up into My eyes and find forgiveness. At last the healing process has begun. For all that belong to the Father are Mine. I know My sheep, and no man shall pluck them out of My hand--even the wayward ones. For I have wept and I have pled! I have stood before the throne of My Father for this one, pleading and making intercession. And I say unto you, at last the healing process has begun! This one is in need of great healing. He is in need of a new heart.

155. He chose to take the long, hard way, the difficult path of his own choosing, of leaning to his own understanding, of stubborn insistence on having his own way, of pride and self-reliance, of unyieldedness and sin. He chose of his own free will, and because of this, the road has been long and hard. But at last the healing process has begun! Now his learning begins! Now he is able to see more clearly. Now I am able to wipe away the tears and the fears and the blurred vision he has suffered these many years. Continue to pray for this one, for though the healing process has begun, it takes time.

156. If you do not learn and grow there on Earth, you will have to learn and grow Here, on this side. For those who choose to take their own lives before the appointed time will yet have to learn and grow and pass many tests, and this healing will require a good amount of time. I would that no man take his life before the appointed time, for this is not My plan, but according to a man's own choosing.

157. Think not that this is the easy way out, that a man may take the life I give into his own hands and be master of his own fate. Be not deceived; I am not mocked: for whatsoever a man sows, that shall he also reap. And though in My infinite love and mercy I do gather this one again to My bosom, the road is now long. He has lost ground, and he is as a child starting over in many ways.

158. No man lives to himself and no man dies to himself. Therefore choose this day which road you will take--the high road of My will, where you can be fruitful and win others into My Heavenly Kingdom, or the broad road, the hard way, that will lead only to rehabilitation and prolonged learning.

159. If sinners entice you, consent not. For Satan tempts many with these thoughts of self-destruction. Oh children, My children, My heart is pained! I see the hurt, I see the discouragement that so many are facing in the world today--discouragement and doubts and fears. But you, My children, know Me and you know the truth, and you are most richly blessed! Open your eyes and live! I have mercy on those who stoop to these depths, yet the road is long and hard. I have special mercy for those who have never heard the truth, who have never known Me.

160. But for you, My children who know Me, I say, look up! Take up the challenge! You, who have life and know life, be not deceived! Call out to Me and be renewed! Listen not to the lies of Satan! Resist! Stand strong and resist temptation! And know that as you take even the tiniest baby step in My direction, I will take giant leaps for you. Think not to throw your life away, but rather give! Give your life to love others into the Kingdom, and I will sustain you. Give, pour out and I will pour into you!

161. Who will go? Who will go and proclaim the glad tidings, the good news? Seek not to end your life, but hold on to Me, hold on to My Word and live! I pour out the antidote, the healing balm of My Word, to heal the wounds, to chase away the dark clouds of discouragement. Therefore, spread the news! Spread it far and spread it wide! Will you throw your life away in selfishness, or give it away in love?

162. Pray for these! Pray for the lost, pray for the discouraged! Pray that they be not buffeted about by the lies of Satan. You must pray! You must fight in spirit for the discouraged, for the lost, and for the forlorn. Pray and weep for the lost and lonely world as your Father David wept. Look not at those who take their lives, or attempt to do so, with eyes of contempt, for they are in need of love and understanding. Fight for them! Pray! For the weapons of this warfare are not carnal. Pray and spread the Good News! It is not My will that any should suffer, that any should perish, that any should pass over to this side before the appointed time. Therefore pray and obey, and spread the news. (End of prophecy.)

* * *

163. (Watchman speaking:) My Family, my Family, I know it's right, my Family! Now I know! Now I see! And now I have to say the hardest words I've ever said, and that is, "I was wrong." I was wrong, so dead wrong about so many things. (Weeping.) I can hardly bear to face you, my Family. And if it weren't for the tender mercy and love of Jesus, and the loving care and forgiveness of Dad, I wouldn't be here to tell you about it. I wouldn't be able to face you. But I have looked into Jesus' face, I have felt the warmth of Dad's loving embrace, and here I am to tell you about it.

164. I am not worthy, I know. Oh Jesus, oh Jesus, Your mercy endures forever! I can only say, "By the grace of God, here I stand." I don't deserve to be Here, but somehow I am. I don't deserve to talk to you right now, as undeserving as I am, but Jesus is allowing me to tell you, dear Family, that I was wrong. My head was bloody but unbowed, and now I will have to pay the consequences.

165. I'm not very good at communicating like this, and I won't be doing it too often for right now. It's because I have a lot to learn before I can be given this privilege again. This is a special dispensation of grace I am getting right now. In fact, Dad helped me, and pleaded for me to be able to give you this message, and he even arranged for Abner to help me, and accompany me, and show me the ropes.

166. Do you know what happened when I took my life? After all I did and all I was responsible for in hurting the Family, dear Dad was there to meet me and help me over to this side. Dad met me! He opened his arms to receive me. He knew the pain and the guilt and the remorse I was about to face, and in mercy he came to see me. Now I understand how Judas must have felt. He tried so hard to do things according to his own arm of the flesh, and it just didn't work. Then Dad called for a feast and put a ring on my finger. But don't get me wrong! Although I was received like the prodigal returning home, although Jesus and Dad received me with open arms, although I have received forgiveness, please don't get the idea this has been easy or fun and games!

167. Some of you might be thinking, "Hey, look at that! Here's a scumbag like Watchman who has been really low, really dirty, and caused us so much trouble, and here he goes and even takes his own life, and then he gets this big reception in Heaven! Come on now, you've gotta be kidding!" Well, let me tell you, all I could do was hang my head in shame. I had to face Jesus and I had to face Dad, and that was the scariest, most humbling moment of my entire life. I couldn't eat when the food was brought out, and I only wear the ring as a ring of humility to remind me of all I have been delivered from.

168. The Lord and Dad went to the nth degree to show me love and mercy, and that is just to show you how all-encompassing the Love of God is! But let me tell you of the shame and the guilt and the remorse I have been through, the shame and the contempt that I passed through, and that I still have to live with. I have to deal with it. I wouldn't wish it on anybody! My own impulses and my stubborn ways came with a price. Let me tell you, there is another side. This is why I am here to tell you about it.

169. This is very much out of the ordinary, not only because I'm new Here, but because I have some special retraining to go through--a rehabilitation program. How can I explain? How can I make you see? The Lord has been gracious to me; the Lord is all-merciful. But when someone has gone so astray and has gotten so off-kilter like I was, something's gotta give somewhere. Words can't do the subject justice to explain what the shame is like, the feeling of remorse, the feeling of, "If I only had!" I've been able to see more fully now the repercussions of my waywardness, and that is not easy to face. Believe me, it's not easy.

170. I have a long ways to go in my re-training. I'm starting to say "yes" now, but believe me, it's not an overnight process, and I have a lot of retraining to undergo. I can't be too long-winded here, but there are a couple of points I want to get through.

171. First, for all those who are wondering about me taking my own life: I want to tell you, it's because my head was bloody but unbowed. It's because I had grown so accustomed to doing things my way and according to my own understanding that things got so out of control and it went this far, that even in my death I was a dandy bad example. Taking your own life is the sad result of doing your own thing. It's especially sad when you know the Lord. Yes, it really is doing your own thing. Many people who attempt to take their own life do it because they reach the depths of discouragement. But really, it's the max of just doing your own thing, and doing things your own way. You grow so used to doing things your way that you even take your own life into your hands.

172. But let me tell you, as soon as I arrived Here, I knew right away it was wrong. It all backfired on me. As I saw my whole life flash before me, I realized that taking my life was the ultimate result of how I had been living in recent years. I was going ahead and listening to my own impulses, reaching my own conclusions, trying to be master of my own fate. But believe me, it doesn't pay! Sooner or later the truth will catch up to you and you will have to learn the lessons Jesus has for you. Now I have to face the music. It's very, very hard, but at the same time I am very thankful and I cling to His mercy and grace.

173. I don't know how long it's going to take, but I do know it would have been much easier had I yielded there. I could have helped so many people. I could have turned around and helped to save lives, instead of helping to destroy lives. One thing I am going to have to live with for all eternity is all the souls I could have helped win to the Lord, which I didn't win. You know that verse, "No man lives to himself and no man dies to himself"? It's true, so true. Look what I've done!

174. That's why I had to come and give this little message, because I know I didn't die to myself. I know this is going to affect others greatly. I know this is going to shock so many of you, and I don't want anybody to get the idea that this is the right way to go! I knew immediately I had done the wrong thing. This time it was very clear, no misunderstanding. Taking your life into your own hands is not the way to go!

175. I'm here to say I was wrong. Please forgive me! Jesus forgives me, and Dad forgives me, but I beg you, my Family, please, can you find it in your hearts to forgive me? I know I don't deserve it. The words to that song, "I Am Not Worthy," ring so true in my ears right now.

176. The other reason that I'm here to talk to you is to address you, Romeo. Romeo, I love you! Son, I know you feel confused. I know you feel condemned and wish that you could have done more to help me. But, Son, there was nothing more you could do, believe me, because I was so unyielded. I was so wrong, and I was too proud to just call out to Jesus and let Him save me right then and there. I brought on all my own problems through lack of yieldedness and hanging on to bitterness for years and years. I could have cast all my burdens on Jesus then and there and I wouldn't be in the mess I am right now. Well, I say "mess," but it is wonderful Here and I'm experiencing the Lord's gracious mercy poured out on me, and all that is so far beyond my comprehension because I know I don't deserve it. But, in a way, I am in a mess. I use the word "mess" because I have so much to learn. And I say I am in a mess because the saddest thing is, I could have learned it there. I could have learned there and things could have been so different. Souls could have been won.

177. (Weeping.) Sorry. I still cry when I think about how things could have been so different, how instead of hindering people from coming Here, I could have helped them find happiness. Thank You, Jesus, for wiping my tears. He's wiping my tears, and I've cried a lot of them. Thank You for wiping my tears. He was there all the time, waiting with open arms, and I could have experienced His infinite love and mercy while there with you, and things could have been so different. He never sleeps--you know that?

178. Romeo, please, I beg you, listen to me now, Son, because I was wrong. If you want to do something to help me, then please, please, Son, don't go down the same path I did. I was miserable, I was bitter, I was proud, and I was confused--all because I took matters into my own hands, and I didn't cast my cares on the Lord. I could have had all the help I needed right there, but I insisted on doing things my way. I know now. I knew then really deep in my heart, but I had just gotten so far off, so off-kilter, so insistent on having my own way, and so proud.

179. I was selfish--so very selfish that my eyes were blinded. My vision was clouded through selfishness. I was jealous of so many others--jealous that they were happy and yielded to how the Lord was moving. Really, Son, most of my problems were so obvious, and all I can say is, I was wrong.

180. Romeo, please, listen to me now. This is my special dispensation to come and talk with you. When I arrived Here, I knew immediately how far off I had been. There was absolutely no doubt in my mind. You don't really have doubts Here like you do there, because all things are revealed Here; the facts are plain and clear and laid out on the table. But there are some people who still just don't want to accept the truth, even after arriving Here and seeing things plain as day! It's real clear, the truth is known, and there is no doubt about it.

181. All things are known Here. Everything is revealed Here. But people don't just arrive and turn into overnight wonders Here. It's just like Dad always said, we're still learning and there's still a lot to do. When people come, they arrive and they are at all different levels. It's according to how much progress they made before, while on Earth.

182. As for me, Romeo, I will be in rehab for now. I had gone so far off beam, and was so accustomed to rejecting the ways of the Lord, that now it's going to take some time. I'm thankful for it, though. I can't say I honestly understand it all. I mean, the Lord's mercy is really something. But, Romeo, I have to live that statement that is so true: "If I only had!" I have to live with my regrets. If I only had turned around there. If I only had turned to Jesus when I was there. If I only had let Him carry all my burdens, things could have been so different.

183. But for you, Romeo, or anybody else who may be listening, it's not too late! You can turn your life around right there. You can let the Lord turn it around. Let go of all those doubts and fears, and hang on to the Lord! There are infinite possibilities! He'll show you what's best if you just turn to Him. Look to the Word! Yes, this is me, your dad talking! Now I know, now I see. I was alienated from the Word, I turned away from the very life of God, and look what happened.

184. Romeo, you know how miserable I was. You saw me, you know me. You know how out to lunch I was; my spirit and my countenance showed it. I didn't have the simple, happy love of Jesus on my face, because I was so damn insistent on hanging on to my own way, my own pride. Ask yourself, and I think you will know the difference between me and your mom.

185. I listened to the wrong voices. All those voices! There are so many voices. Worldly prophets tell you all sorts of things--some saying go this way, and others saying go that way. Some seem concerned, caring and all that, but they are the wrong voices. There are so many doctrines and wrong voices in the world--all these people who think they know what they're talking about. I sure thought I knew what I was talking about, but I was wrong. Romeo, the only true voice is the voice of Jesus and His prophets.

186. Psychiatrists! What are they basing their facts on? What is normal? They base their facts on what they call normal--on so-called modern behavior patterns. But, Son, that is not normal! Modern behavior patterns are out to lunch! They're based on man, and most of the time man is wrong. It's awful! Look where it got me--miserable! How can they even know what is right when they don't even know the true center? Jesus is the true center. The only true center to base your life on is Jesus! And you know how far I got away from Jesus. Even when I said I still loved the Lord, I was just living selfishly for myself.

187. You know all this garbage about the "state of denial" and all that junk? I just lived in the state of total justification, that was my problem! That was the state I was in--trying to justify my actions--and look where it got me. Look at the facts--I was miserable because I was running from God. I left His guidance. I forsook my guiding Light. You know the words to that song I wrote, "I got a Light, I gotta follow"? I left my Light, my guiding Light, and when I did, I got off course and wound up lost in space. I got off the well-planned orbit of His will.

188. Son, here I am preaching to you, and I've gotta wind this up soon. But please, Romeo, please! I beg you, Son, learn from my mistake. This is my plea, this is why I'm here to talk to you. Besides asking the Family to forgive me, I beg you, Romeo, don't follow my footsteps. I know the Family will forgive me, because Jesus and Dad forgive me. I know I don't deserve it, but His grace is poured out on me.

189. But if there is anything I can do now, if there is any wrong I need to make right, it is to tell you, dear Romeo, to please, please, learn from my mistakes! And all of you, whoever may be listening to this, learn from my mistakes. See my life for what it was--a dandy bad example. Learn from it, and if you do, then this mission will have been of some worth. Don't take the broad road. Don't take your life and matters into your own hands, or else you'll have to pay the consequences like I have to.

190. If you feel down and discouraged, and if you're getting hit with a barrage of voices and doubts and fears, look up to Jesus and give it all to Him, and He will take care of it all. Where there is life there is always hope. Hold on to that life, it's so very precious.

191. Romeo, maybe you can spend some time with your mom. Let her pray for you. Dear Kat, oh dear Kat! What can I say? How can I say it? I need to say it though, Kat: Don't be discouraged; you did all you could. It was I who held on with bloody head, unbowed. Oh, Kat, I'm so sorry--so sorry, so sorry! I'm so ashamed. All I can do is ask Jesus to make it right, and I know He will. You did what was right. You stood firm and faithful and loyal. You were so strong and I was so selfish. I wanted you so much all to myself. But you were right, Kat, you were right. Please, can you forgive me? And Solomon too. Can you forgive me? I know I don't deserve it, but can you forgive me? Please, don't be discouraged. I'm so sorry! The Lord is answering your prayers now. Now I see, now I know, and now, finally, at long last I am on the road to full recovery!

192. I've gotta go now. Time's up! Keep looking up! Keep holding on! There's always a light at the end of the tunnel, now I know. Now I know. (End of prophecy.)