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In Reply to: Family leadership are religious CROOKS! posted by Freeatlast! on January 16, 2005 at 19:21:09:
I was thinking about what you said about never witnessing any sexual abuse in person, but now that you look back you can see that it was right there in front of you all the time.
I think a lot of present Family members, esp from the first generation, may look somewhat similarily as you did, and it seems that those who leave initially have the same stance, "I never saw it happen...", as is evidenced in this Medicine Man's post. My father for sure testified that he never saw any "abuse" going on, that it wasn't even imagineable that it would happen in the group. The first time he heard about it in the form of my sister being abused by a leader, he was shocked and almost couldn't believed it, so brainwashed was he by the 'flirty little teen' line and the 'we love our children' lines.
But it seems that in getting away from the group, people begin to realise exactly what it is that constitutes abuse. It may not be that you personally witnessed it or abused anyone, but you realise, as you said, it is there, in the writings, in the lectures, in the treatment of the children, and more and more it becomes obvious. I've seen my father for instance go through a tremendous change over the past years to where he realises abuse did happen, that it was there under his nose (in the forms of the publications), but he didn't even see it, and therefore wasn't able to acknowledge it. He can look back at certain instances in the past when something happened that could be borderline abuse, and acknowledge it for what it was rather than deny that any wrong had been done.
I admire Family members who admit it has happened and that there is room for improvement. It really does take guts to stand up against the status quo of the group and say "Yes, abuse happened and it was promoted, I want to work towards changing that..."
Another point on the whole abuse issue, I was involved in an instance at the HCS where a JEtt girl was abused basically under my nose. We were in a van returning from a 'witnessing' excursion, I was a Jett shepherd, we were with 2 other adults maybe, and about 5 Jetts. The girl in question was sitting in the way back next to the guy who spent the return trip fondling, touching and molesting her. She didn't say anything, didn't give any indication anything had happened. I found out about it a few months later, and blew my top, I was pissed as hell.
I don't know what happened after that, I reported it to the leadership who then took over the case and I was no longer involved. But I did find out that this same guy molested at least one other young girl after that. He was then excommed or partially excommed, but still retained services to the cult.
With two other exceptions, this was the only time I came in range of sexual abuse happening, that I knew had happened at some point. Since leaving I have heard so many stories that kids and leadership covered up. When things were reported it wasn't the standard to report this officially to the group. There is not Miranda law (is that what it is) where an abuser is publicly named and all who live near them are aware of the conviction. If I had known that this guy had a past history of indecent behavior to young girls or a sexually perverted appetite, I would have taken much more attention and care to the situation.
It seems that abuse was greatly covered up, abusers were hidden away in shame, I can think of more than twice when a guy was 'on the bench' but we never asked why, we just accepted it, esp. when they were leaders. And the rest of us dumb sheep just kept 'following'.
On a last point regarding the abuse issue: One time when I heard that some guy had sneaked into the Jett girls room and was fondling some of the girls, I totally blew my lid. I was pretty mad and wrote an OHR to my overshepherd about how mad I was. The shepherdess later came to talk to me, basically sympathising that yes it wasn't right, but that the guy really is a sold-out disciple and loves the Lord and we musn't judge him too harshly--in other words--don't get too SR there PD. And of course, being SR in the cult was THE ultimate sin, besides unyieldedness of course, or hankering after the world... This was confusing for me. I knew it wasn't right, but it had happened and the guy was being protected. I wanted to know what punishment he was getting and who it was. I found out neither, though I did find out years later who the guy was and connected the time frame to find that he got a Word and Prayer punishment.
I would say that the cult leadership sacrificed their children on the altar of the cult by allowing them to be abused and not allowing the proper authorities to handle the situation, nor taking proper steps quick enough to protect children from further abuse. Although it is an excommunicable crime in the cult, they do NOT report the persons to the law, and therefore have made themselves a law. This would probably be because they so desperately want to keep the cult 'clean' to the outside world and maintain the veneer they have of never being charged with abuse.
The reason is because they have given their children's innocence in exchange for the cult's overall 'innocence'. This can be testified to with my cousin Kristy's account of severe abuse done towards herself and her siblings by her stepfather who is also with the Family. And in her steps to get help from the cult for her sister, the Family came to her and basically said it was better that one should suffer than the whole group through a conviction of abuse.
I think it's an even greater shame that leadership or members protest their 'innocence' when that innocence is actually a cover for their crimes.
While sexual abuse is an excommunicable offence in the cult, do they take the steps to educate their children about it, to warn what it is, and what the kids should report if they are abused? If things are reported, what steps are taken to investigate? I regularly have a talk with my kids that if anyone every touches their bodies in a way they don't like or is weird, they should tell me right away, and if that person tells them not to tell, they should tell me right away.
I have heard of men being excommed from the cult for 3 months or 6 months for sexual abuse, but then being let right back into the cult. This sort of sentence makes it simply a slap on the hand, and is a slap right back to the person who was abused. And if a parent doesn't raise hell over the fact that their child was abused, that parent is not truly a parent, in my opinion.
On a last note, it is my personal opinion that many members in the group at present are good and sincere people at heart. I also believe that a person is entitled to religious freedom and the choice to serve whatever God they want in whatever style they want, as long as it doesn't inflict harm or danger on another person or society. I would not want to begin a grand KKK style of attack towards the cult and its members.
But I fully believe that the group's leadership are very aware of their lies and deceit, that they know what they have covered up and hid, the people and children who have been hurt by their policies and by their lack of facing the truth. And I fully believe in Karma and that if they don't pay now for it, or if they don't take steps to ammend their devious past, they will pay for it eventually.
