death of Ricky

I believe in my heart that it is almost certain on a motive or understanding level that Ricky did not mean to murder. IMO I think he suffered something like an immediate Post Traumatic Stress Disorder relapse/breakdown of such intensity that it triggered a massive response well beyond his ability to control. Trauma is like an earthquake, the cracks and faultlines it creates stay in the ground for a very long time. Any one caught in such an earthquake who lives through it will have to spend years dealing with the aftershocks. It is a very sad moment for everyone trying to deal with the berg horror and the cruel folly that is the "family of Love".

In my working life I read, studied and worked on hundreds of child abuse cases. I think what happened to him is one among a group of worst case scenarios within the spectrum of reported child sexual abuse. What was done to Ricky and others often seems comparable with the sexual experiments and psychological atrocities carried out in the concentration camps during WWII. No one deserved to go through what he went through. The fact that he made it as far as he did is a testimony to his personal bravery.

Like many others, I occasionally have nightmares where I am in the family again and it feels like being in the land of the living dead. Although I was a victim of clergy abuse as a boy I still can't quite imagine what horror Ricky must have borne in childhood and as an adult. As an individual also struggling with PTSD I feel what happened to Ricky could happen to many of us if we came across the worst combination of triggering factors.

All I can say is how sorry I am for Ricky, his friends and exmember family. For him to openly tell his story and continue struggling through an intense psychological hell makes him a giant among us all.

Sincerely

Rocky