to Perry and all

Perry,

i was wondering how to convey to you the way I felt about the exchange between you and the poster who gave greetings.
i can see both sides, but there is something i want to bring to your attention.
let us say in conversation you use the expression "as a rule of thumb."
It is a very common expression in the English language.

Let us say I felt very offended by it because of the origins of that expression. It comes from the time when women were considered property according to the British Commonwealth (actually not long ago =) and a man was allowed to beat up "his" woman with a stick not thicker than his thumb. In other words, as long it was legal as long as it was not thicker than that. Wow. What a legacy. Sounds like something in a Berg letter.

Do you think we may both have a point if we raised it? Do you think it is possible to escape all the possible pitfalls buried in language and custom WHILE we live in it? No matter how much we try, we may all end up being hypocrites if we think we can do it better than "others." It is like being a fish swimming in water. Can you avoid the water? And how?

I think the best way to deal with the topic is to express our personal feelings and experiences, our personal triggers. Reflection and awareness are very important. But to reprimand somebody for uttering wishes seems to me exaggerated just as it would be exaggerated for me to reprimand you because you or anybody used an expression that carries with it heavy oppressive historical meaning. YOu would be surprised to find out what muck comes out when you dig in the sedimentary strata of language and culture.

Words have many different meanings. We can discuss the historical and cultural meaning, and we can also talk about the personal value WE attribute to words and events. So you add to the historical and etymological layer, your personal layer that is the thread of how your life was woven together with a certain expression or event. We each organize meaning in a very personal way. (Also see Joseph's post with his interesting observations on how Christmas is celebrated. There could be a long conversation on this topic as it reaches in so many directions.)

I am not going to wish you happy holidays (God forbid - is it ok to use this expression? =) but I wish you and other posters well. I think reflection is good, and lightening up even better.