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In Reply to: Re: A safe place posted by susie on October 21, 2004 at 19:51:39:
Journeys sounds like that place but it is often us, not knowing better, who create problems by not knowing how to say things. I don't think the problem you have been describing is due to the opinions themselves as much as to how they are sometimes expressed.
The boards I have seen thrive are those with diversity of opinions. In my experience overstating respect can easily turn into self censorship just as lack of respect induces mandated censorship - two sides of the same coin. If Journeys had been a choir singing the same songs I wouldn't be here but also many wouldn't be here if it had been a war zone. I've seen boards fade away both ways.
But respect is a funny thing. Folks have more or less tolerance to different things and it is a difficult and slippery thing to meddle with. There are some basic standard norms but even then, sometimes people react to the opinions and not to the way they are presented.
Although I try to think about the effects of what I say and how I say it, I have been careless with my words at times. I have unknowlingly managed to upset Christians who didn't want their views to be challenged and less religious people who are not comfortable with what I say. We would eventually learn that we have walked far enough in our dialogues and depart, or discover that we can learn from each other. Lack of respect on either side, of course, turns that off and makes communication die a young death.
In other words, if the topic of this board is "spiritual" journeys, people should expect a dose of religion, which includes challenges to their own. I have always enjoyed your posts because they offer [to me] insight not easily accessible [to me]. Although I acknowledge my [very fundamental] Christianity, I am not afraid to examine my belief structures because it helps me strengthen it or dispose of some parts.
My walk is very personal and I don't expect others to do the thinking for me but we can help each other think and we can think together each on our own way. As you know, we still own our reaction when confronted abusively and we don't have to have an explosive reaction [unless we think it will help]. Hard to know for others.
