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In Reply to: Worst sex you ever had in the Family posted by CuriousToo (reposted) on September 14, 2004 at 12:13:07:
A friend of my wife's whose husband cheated on her, and whom she divorced sent this (the song lyrics below).
My wife and I have a wonderful Christian marriage, so I don't need to "leave her to her own devices"! Toys are fun, and I've also tried both Viagra and Cialis (Cialis lasts THREE DAYS! Beware of priapism--too much of a good thing! See:
http://www.emedicine.com/emerg/topic486.htm)
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Subject: "I Will Survive"......
Sing this along to the Gloria Gaynor tune "I Will Survive"......(Warning: Funny but vulgar)
At first I was afraid, I was petrified,
When you said you had 10 inches, Lord I almost died!
But I'd spent so many years just waiting for a man that long,
That I grew strong, and I knew that I could take you on....
But there you are, another lie,
I was ready for a big mac and you've brought me a French fry!
I should have known you had delusions, another sad pathetic dream,
I should have known there was no anaconda lurking in those jeans!
Go on now go, walk out the door,
Don't lie about 10 inches and turn up with only 4!
Weren't you a fool to think I wouldn't catch you out!?
Don't you know we're only joking when we say size doesn't count???!
(Chorus)
I will survive! I will survive!
'Cause as long as I have batteries,
My sex life is gonna thrive!
I will always have good sex with plastic filled with some size "Cs"!
I will survive! I will survive!. . .Hey! Hey!
[Verse II]
It took all my self control not to laugh out loud,
When I saw your little weiner standing tall and proud!
But to hell with your ego and to hell with all your needs
Now I'm saving all my lovin' for a cordless multispeed!
(Chorus)
End.
Here's an excellent book we read (and applied!)
Solomon on Sex by Joseph C. Dillow
Here's one review:
September 27, 1999
Reviewer: A reader
This is an excellent book that looks at the book of Songs of Solomon in the bible and gives a clear, understandable commentary. Couple that with the author's own insight, and practical applications it has the power to change your views on the book of Song of Solomon and your marriage. With doses of humour and keen insights this book is a must for every married couple.
My stepdaughter wrote us about some friends of hers who were considering divorce--we told her about the book, she told them, and it helped repair their marriage!
