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In Reply to: another song - look at the way they raised us posted by Acheick on September 19, 2004 at 13:34:24:
First, I want to say that I don't believe some people quit posting here or avoid posting here because they are of the perpetrator ilk or don't want to face the truth or whatever as was insinuated in some post way down the line.
Some stop because of personality clashes or simply moving on, or because they have finished venting for the most part and find different avenues to deal with their past. Or their past is laid to rest.
Even with discussions concerning generational differences most have agreed that there are significant differences between the experiences of generations, that SGs born into the family suffered severe abuses as they grew up in the family, some more than others depending on how long they were in and where they were at.
Some that have perpetrated in the past post at exer boards across the boards regardless of what the boards name is or isn't And some don't post anywhere at all and that does not make them a perpetrator or not one either.
Most FGs have said they are sorry for what happened to SGs with the biggest percentage of contention being that many left before the worst things happened and there are varying views on what constitutes criminal behavior. For example, many FGs that left early did report, and confirm abuses that were in print and which organizations had copies of incriminating lit from the sources of where the abuse was taking place. Like Davidito letters. Why did the government not prosecute the family on the basis of all this information? Because the people that committed the crimes were not reachable, were not in the country, or it was third party info, even when having the lit or verifying it. I never saw a video with children sexualized in it until long after I left and one of the news programs showed it on TV. Even though I was not there when these were made and or distributed, I am absolutely sure they are accurate and these abuses took place. But I am not good as a witness in a court of law because I was not there when it happened.
Is there a way that in a court of law I could be helpful in verifying, again, that the Davidito book existed and came from the top? I am totally willing to do that.
Looking back, I am sorry I did not report during my time in the group the minute the Davidito book came out. I know I was shocked and there was a plethora of lit coming out and heavy quotas to be made in raising funds via litnessing, singing in clubs, on sts or whatever. I was not at the time capable of rational evaluation of the lit. But inside I felt it was wrong. (taught that was the devil) and never did anything like that. I left before molestation became widespread. But I know it existed. I just can't verify in a court of law anything from first hand experience that could constitue a criminal prosecution. Not all adults were FFing at the time I left. But many were. But children were not. Not at the time I left. But I am certain that children were encouraged to do so at young ages as I have read about because of the progression of the family being Victorian regarding sex amongst FGs until Flirting and then FFing were widely introduced for adults. I don't think FGs were stupid but we were heavily indoctrinated and in hindsight it is not hard to say how wrong it all was. There is no if ands or buts about it. IT WAS WRONG. It was also wrong what happened to many women and men under the absolute authority of what we thought was God but was a megalomaniacal man. In hindsight this is easy to see. In the midst of it, the fear and training were very real.
I think it is a loss that though we grieve from different perspectives and with differing levels of past involvement that we can't realize how much we could help each other as exers. Helping each other does not mean equating our experiences. Neither does it mean denying anyone's experiences.
Another issue is politics. There is a political board now and there are clear differing views regarding politics. These issues have divided people here too IN THE PAST. Not because they cannot be discussed, and i realize there is a board for this now, but because opinions are stated as facts as if others are WRONG for theirs. This could be a factor to moving on elsewhere.
Still, there are many that continue to post here and across the boards. So the varying boards are providing needed support and more specific ones are being created.
Perhaps SGs would be interested in a board here where they could come and talk about the kinds of support they want, specifically from FGs that are exers and the exer FGs that can't handle that can just not go there? Or they can go there and productively be supportive?
