To All My Friends

To all my friends :

Thank you for sending me chain letters in 2003.

I stopped drinking soft drinks after I found out that it's good for removing toilet stains.

I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.

I smell like a dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer.

I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes I even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me.

I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls to Uganda, Singapore and Tokyo.

I also stopped eating chicken and hamburgers because they are nothing other than horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers that are bred in a lab so that fast food places can sell their super sized meals.

I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get sick from the rat feces and urine.

I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times. Funny that girl, she's been 7 since 1993...

I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I made expecting the $15,000 that internet providers were supposed to send me when I participated in their special e-mail program.

My free cell phone never arrived and neither did the passes for a paid vacation to Florida.

But I am positive that all this is the cause of a stinking chain that I broke or forgot to follow and I got a curse from hell.

IMPORTANT NOTE: If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next 10 seconds, a bird will poop on you tomorrow at 5 p.m.