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In Reply to: To all who think I'm lying or telling the Truth posted by Mr. Don on September 03, 2004 at 19:46:36:
Mr. Don, screw the name calling crap. Don't let it get to you!
This was the first time I had ever addressed you or responded to you in a post. I didn't know about your being called names. I never did call you anything, but I quoted you, and I offered my unsolicited opinion.
You use the words 'complete recovery' a lot, but we all may have very different definitions for what constitutes a complete recovery.
Did anyone really call you a liar? Or was that something you said yourself? I don't read every single post, and I may have missed that. What I did read regarding Perry's comments were more about challenging your oft used self-descriptor 'complete recovery'.
The problem may really stem from definitions and experience.
For myself and probably many others here, I thought I was doing just fine, when I left. I was strong willed, full of energy and determination to bounce back, and I was already spritually, mentally and emotionally out, before I finally managed to physically leave the group.
Years later though, after achieving that bounce-back in system life, I found myself still living with the consequences of my past decisions to be in the cult. There were big gaps in my pysche and development, and I was not able to fulfill my desired potential. I had come to the boards looking for old long lost friends, and discovered a strange world I could no longer relate to. That is how 'recovered' I had been.
I had completely left everything about TF behind, and I couldn't believe I once thought like some of these ridiculously culty people posting on these boards.
BUT, as time passed, I looked back and realized I had so much buried pain. Scars would re-open into festering wounds when triggered by somebody talking about something about their life in TF.
Do you feel no pain? No remorse? No regret? Can you reconcile 30 years of being part of an organized crime group and disseminating screwy, harmful ideas and lies, with your current life as it is now? Do you not have traces of unhealthy values left in your pysche after 30 years? Is your attitude towards women as good as it should be? Did you let ever your wife fuck and suck strangers? Did you see your peers do that and say nothing? Did you ever do anything you regretted while in the group? Did you ever wrong anyone while trying to follow what you were taught? Would you like to seek out those people and apologize to them?
You see, for me, revisiting my past, processing my pain, talking and reflecting about things I did and believed in, is a big and necessary part of my healing. Recovery is an ongoing thing.
Yet, to all my friends and family, and anyone that knows me, I have no traces of ever having been in a cult.
Mr. Don, I sincerely apologize if you thought I was trying to chase you away, but I cannot take responsibility for your equating scrutiny with hostility.
By the way, I am of the opinion you can't really help others. You can only help them to help themselves. Maybe if you understood and respected that, you would have a whole different approach and some of us wouldn't be balking at your manners.
I do hope you will take to heart some of the responses here. I find Ray's to be extremely deep, hard-earned wisdom, and straight to the point.
Again, my unsolicited observation, for me, your inability to relate to the sentiment of others here, is a big indicator of your need for recovery. Thus my comments to you. I will cease from insulting you any further.
