|
In Reply to: A survey? posted by curious on September 02, 2004 at 11:59:17:
Neither Fran or I could afford therapy when we first came out of the Fam. Besides, our denials were so thick we didn't need it, remember? We had Jesus, the Fam was right and the world was wrong, so what did they (the world) know and how could they help? I guess that's why coming out of the Fam turned out to be so very mindbogglingly devastating. However, during our time of coming out, we did get around to reading a ton of self help books (which didn't cost much). For me, though, it took coming to the boards here in early 2000 and having Berg's bottom line, the incest, exposed to do the trick. I suspect that there are hundreds of Fam members out on the streets preaching the gospel right now who have NO CLUE that their endtime prophet is a pedophile and that the law of love includes child adult sex. It has been denied and is even an excomunicable offense, isn't it, except of course for what would be going on in that shiny new motor home if Mo were still alive, in my opinion. I don't recall reading anything, anywhere, written where he denounses it, have you? And he 'lives on', doesn't he?
I think that the boards and the ex com community are great denial breakers and have some of the best insight, and for those who have found resolution and moved on, some pretty good therapeutic advice. The boards have exposed the truth that the law of love includes child adult sex and the ex com folks don't believe in that so they've been able to let the Fam go. Some of us have, consequently, been able to work our way through the anger for having spent so much of our lives committed to what turned out to be, for us, a bet on a loser horse, truly grieved our losses, accepted what has gone down in our lives, been able to reach forgivenness, picked up the pieces, and moved on. That's what therapy is all about, isn't it - to get you through the denial and the anger, help you to grieve, help you to reach acceptance, reach forgiveness, find resolution, etc, so you can go on to rebuild your life? That's what a good therapist with good insight is going to do for you. Sure, we have to do the daily maintennance thing after all that, as does any recovering addict, for example, but that's very do-able.
Board therapy helped me to let go of the Fam and rebuild, and that spawned a tremendous healing in Fran shortly after. I think, in her case, it was a suddenly safe for her to go in and heal cause I was no longer drunk on Family wine. Unbenownst to me, she had been HORRENDOUSLY abused in childhood, and unbeknownst to her, she sought recovery like the rest of us did, in the familiar - an abusive group. She, with the help of her sexually abused and recovered sister and a book on healing, broke with her denials about her abuse and has gone on to reach forgiveness, especially for God who "allowed it". She has since been piecing together her Family involment and just the other day was saying how she has a passion for living again - let's see, that's 50 years of unresolved anger and bitterness down the drain now. HURRAY! There's inner beuaty radiating out of that girl now.
By all means, therapy helps. By all means go for it. By all means, find some good help cause, as you say, it can sometimes be negative. One of Fran's pre cog therapists simply tried to reabuse her, the peckerhead.
