therapy, Sam and Jules

Today I talked with my therapist about the sexual abuse aspect of TF and the differences that Sam and Jules are having. I specifically asked her what her expert opinion was in the idea that Sam was stating Jules did not own her story. The therapist asked me if I wanted her 5 cents and I said, oh yes, please.

She went on to explain that in her opinion the victim of abuse has been under someone's control, even more so in a cult where there was constant control and the victim was under someone else's control all the time. By Sam saying that Jules does not own her story, but he does (or something like that) he is putting that control back and basically revictimizing the victim.

In this case, she went on to say, he should not be using the victim's stories without their permission. If they don't want it used or used by him, he should respect their requests. With that, I would say, "Back away from the mouse, Sam..." Sorry, Sam, but we have to do what is best for these victims. This is not about the big picture - that was what Berg wanted from us, "for the good of the work" - let's not go there again. Well, anyway, I feel better knowing what the expert thinks - at least one expert. It clears a lot up for me. When we're dealing with victims of sexual abuse, it's a whole different enchilada.

Also, an interesting thing that she told me was that all that I have related to her is nearly the same dynamics as in a dysfunctional family unit where one or more members is sexually abusing another or there is spousal abuse. It always seems to boil down to control, one way or another.