|
In Reply to: Re: on cock shoving posted by bystander on September 02, 2004 at 17:05:11:
I joined as an already active Christian missionary. TF considered me too 'spiritually young' to read their controversial pubs for a good few years. I lived in a country where anything like child sex pubs were not even available. I NEVER saw them. I heard about FFing but never saw it for a few years, and never saw or lived with the effects, other than seeing a few 'Jesus babies' now and then. Later I was moved to a selah unit. Then I saw sisters going out FFing. Being a male I did not participate in it. All the females around were sold on the idea. I was guilty of being open to such doctrines without considering the full impact and consequences, and for supporting it by doing support roles. Although I saw children being spanked harshly, I was brought up the same way, and the word 'abuse' never even went into my mind. By the time I saw any pubs relating to sex re. children, I had spent years in TF seeing NONE of it beingpracticed around me. So I thought the Ditto book (were there more than 1?) were just wierd stuff or documentation of what went on in the Berg household. I saw it as Berg's experiment on ideals that could never be practiced in any other real life situation. I genuinely (and foolishly) thought the attention and pre-school education the children (especially in WS units) received was much better than what the system had to offer. I saw and at times participated in what I NOW know was harsh punishment of young children, as in stand facing the wall, slaps on mouth and hand, and some spankings by hand. I honestly didn't know better for a while, until I realised that they were being pubished for being children. By the time I realised that my own children were at risk of unusual and harsh punishment by my hand or by the hand of other uncles and aunts, and all the extra school attention they got was going to hold them back later in life, I picked up and left as soon as I could. To sum it up, I spent many years in TF during the time bad things were starting to happen to children, but I never saw it. I was just to busy 'serving the Lord' to see anything. When I did see things coming closer to home, my own children suffering or being deprived, I upped and left. That was before any institutionalized combo torture, and before most of the worst of what SG's went through happened.
How guilty does that make me? I regret that I didn't have my eyes open earlier. I am extremely sorry for the harsh discipline on my own children but not others, as I never touched them. I was extremely upset over the fact that I couldn't take every one out with me when I left.
How guilty does that make me?
