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In Reply to: PS: You are still a liar posted by Jules on September 02, 2004 at 01:06:35:
I know, quite often I forget - "chaotic" me - where I put my housekeys or other ones.I come home, have various "projects" in mind, which I love to think of more, than where I put the dear keys...yes, I do have a key-board for them, thanks ; )...
Some time ago, I got comforted by an article about the long & shortterm memory...events like putting down a key somewhere are in the shortterm memory & unless we/I make an effort to remember it specifically, giving more time or "energy" to it, it seems to get "lost" to us the information & it takes pain & effort to get it back.
I know, in my case there is a remedy for that bad habit of being scatterbrained, doing too many things at once...
Well, at first glance, speaking to someone on the phone or mentioning the possible invitation on a talk show of person z to person x ( x and z seemed to be different in this case) seems an entirely
"heavier" matter...
But then, all is relative:
Let's say Bully B grew up in a bad neighbourhood -
would Bronx be it ? - streetfights are common to him on a very "regular" basis.He dishes out, knocks people & as well has to receive punches, just as we know it is.
Now peacenik P read tons of books about being nonaggresive, saw the film Gandhi etc. & he's trying his best to avoid fights.
At a swingdoor in a restaurant P acts clumsy to the disadvantage of B...oh yeah, P is white and B
black (or should I cancel that?)...now, B feels
threatened, mishandled,he had a bad day,is in a bad mood & whites are often oppressive & unfair.
With his "skill and training" he knocks down P and walks off.People are very helpful to P. and ask if they should call the police...P feels bad for B,
thinks about all the stuff he must have suffered in his upbringing & declines...
P never forgets that traumatic experience, he might have forgotten the minute & second it happened, may be even the hour or the exact day it happened, but I assume never the year or that it happened for the time P remains "normal".
Now for B. it was "just another" event, nothing much, happens all the time to him, how'd he know when he hit x, y, z at what time, when so much bad happens regurlarly in his life...(kind of like: where did I put my keys??)
It could be, IMO, that he'd deny it in a courtcase, denying that he'd even seen P., much less, that he knocked him down...
The memory has the nice "attitude" to block things out, which is to our disadvantage.
So B. could even think, that P wants to frame him
& goes in defense & denial...selfpreservation.
So in B.'s disadvantage is his environment, upbringing, lack of moral obligation, "righteosness"...his habits.
I could understand, why B. claims to have forgotten, but having to make a choice, I would believe P.,why?Because it triggered deep bad emotions, which you usually don't lie about.
More related: I mean the links, you, Jules, gave,
speak anyway loud and clear enough to me, I feel bad for you, that you have to go miles "to prove your case"...but may be you saw enough of "Gandhi"
; ) hope you can relax one of these days...
As far as Sam is concerned, I noticed in his postings, that he often enough uses the conditional tense, in times he is not so certain,a
habit, which I very much sympathise with, I am careful about people, who state too affirmatively their observations and positions, all the time.
All the more I wondered, why in this case Sam wants to give the impression, to be so sure!!!???
And the Jules,Julia,Julie-stuff is easy enough to figure out for someone, without college-skills,...
unlike Sam...that'd be ridiculous!!!!
Sometimes I accuse my kids falsely, because something negative for us/me happened & it's "nice" to find the guilty ones...however several times, by their strong protests, I found, that I
must have barked at the wrong tree, as they give their evidence & to my shame it was at times me, who was the culprit, but I had forgotten about it, dehydration as the least symptom...
I read Jules strong protest & her evidences...
It'd be nice, if Sam could give a decent explanation, considering at the minimum the kind of always given possibility for us to be wrong.
Sam, you're not bad in my eyes or perpetual B. if you'd "loose" this one, on the contrary, you'd have my respect...but I wish to point out, that
I sense a lack of sensibility, that the credibility of a precious SGA is at stake, a generation, who suffered already enough through our lacking sense of righteousness.
If SGAs or others are only a welcome "tool" in the
fight against TF, then I think it can become morally offensive, even if the final goal is shared by many here, if not all...
I wouldn't say, I'd always, automatically, side with the views of the SGAs, but I think they deserve to be listened to very, very carefully &
their integrity I have not come to doubt as yet &
rather doubt, that that should happen...
Therefore I am inclined to think, that in the "course of your cause" you sometimes trample on people's toes, after all you do things super wholeheartedly, with much drive & very idealistically & I figure, you could may be prone to think: "oh well, so what if someone gets hurt in the course of fighting for the higher goal"...
(Plenty of people trampled on my feet in the crowded Italian buses & they hardly ever said sorry...were they numb or is it a habit, like: nobody apologises to me, so why should I to others??...it's "normal")
Ok, I could be very wrong, in labeling you, Sam...however you make no better effort than strongly denying the almost too evident...
(In the tale above I wanted to stress, we all can be wrong at times, although we might "feel right"
about something, without of course being able to say Sam is B....but you'd remain B in my mind until you find better evidence than Jules...for me you are not necessarily a liar, but someone who has to straighten out his perception of his past &
his habits of witnessing about it...there's at least the distinct possibility, that your mind construes a past fitting your advantage...that is:
avoiding to be linked with the suggestion of someone appearing on a show, which others say was at that time not suitable or reasonable...)
Those with law & social science-skills should have posted instead of me, but that's how I feel...
