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In Reply to: Here's the link to the discussion on this a year ago posted by Jules on August 30, 2004 at 16:01:28:
what to do, what to do.....
IDK, on the one hand, if you know children are being abused or have been abused and the abuser goes free, one feels or thinks they should be responsible in turning this over to the authorities and/or getting involved and getting the perpetrator behind bars somehow. The situation is complicated because we have a clandestine group that has so many secrets and barriors that the truth gets so lost inbetween it all and the authorities basically turn a blind eye. Yet, who are the ones who really know the whole truth and can say it? We do.
I can see how someone like Sam in trying to do something gets frustrated and thinks he should just do what is best in his own opinion. I can also see how the victims would not want that intervention necessarily. It's quite a pickle (not meaning to trivialize this in anyway).
My own hands have been tied by my children. I would have done much more if they had been willing to let me, but they don't. They want the past to go away and be forgotten about. I have to take their wishes in consideration because I am their mother. But it really frustrates me.
Sometimes I feel like the sweet cashier lady who used to wait on me at the local grocery store. WE had so many nice discussions and she was always so pleasant and cheerful. One day I saw her picture in the paper. She had been murdered by her estranged husband. She had been abused by him for many years but because of the pleas of her children not to let their daddy be put in jail, she did not report the abuse. Consequently, he was granted visiting rights. One visiting day he shot her dead in front of her children and in spite of their screams. Apparently, he didn't care.
There was another case here where a man had some sort of religious harem and was practicing polygamy as well as incest. One day two mothers decided to get out from his control and had court orders to get their children back. When they went with the police to get the children, he said he'd go in and be right back. He proceeded to kill 8 members of his family. From babies to teenage daughters who had children by him as well as their children. Afterwards, people placed flowers and teddy bears for the dead children. They passed by the house in droves so much that there was a constant traffic jam. I thought to myself, why didn't anyone notice what was going on before all the children were dead? Why are they noticing now?
I wish I could have turned my ex in to the authorities for back child support when he came to visit his children, but my own children made me promise I wouldn't.
As I said, it's a pickle and a hard one to know what is best to do. I feel frustration for both sides of the picture. I don't know, but I haven't heard much from Sam in quite some time, I don't even know if he has a website anymore.
