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In Reply to: Thots on litnessing MLs posted by Observer on August 14, 2004 at 18:24:07:
It was a lot of pressure and competetiveness, all in the name of Christ. The Family gave such promises "You'll have true freedom, why work for mammon, why work for a system boss.." but ultimately none of those promises were true.
We worked hard for money, and most all our decisions were based around money. The 'sheep' (fish, kings, ....) who got the most time and attention from us were the ones who donated the most, the happiest people of course were the shiners cause they were doing something they were successful at, while the rest of us had to do something we were moderately to not successful at.
What about "finding your calling"? I don't feel I was ever 'called' to do sales, it just wasn't my thing, whereas my dad did great at it, he loved it! (Neither did I feel 'called' to be in childcare, but I did do pretty good at it--at least in my opinion).
What about true freedom? We weren't free, we were used, we were slaves, we were forced into roles we didn't feel we belonged in. And then we were taught to 'pray and get the victory cause you're being unyielded' if we didn't want to be in that role.
What a mind trip the cult took us through! Of course we were all 'happy' to be serving Jesus in whatever capacity we could, from lowly toilet washer to glorified leader, because we had no other choice other than to be labelled an unyielded vessel on the way to the scrap-heap.
If I could have been what I wanted in the group, within the limited 'ministries' available, I would have tended more towards secretary work. If I could have been anything though, I think I would have appreciated being a kid a bit longer without the pressure of being an adult at the age of 15, and having more time to figure out my 'career'.
I have never been so 'free' as I am out of the group. I no longer face condemnation on a daily basis, guilt, self-introspection and chastening. I work hard, and I don't necessarily like my job, but it's a means to an end, and not where I plan to be stuck until 'God moves my piece on the chess board of His great game'. I have no longer signed a blank piece of paper to let my shepherds and God fill in at will, thus tying me into the role of unquestioning slavery.
Neither do I face constant failure cause I'm doing something I don't enjoy or don't feel is for me. I can choose what I do and put my efforts into things that appeal to me and therefore I succeed at!
Yeah!! I'm free!!
