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In Reply to: Re: and now, a cultural moment... posted by kinda gentler on June 02, 2004 at 12:03:55:
KG, this is a really good analysis, particularly with your discussion of rape as an act of power and control as opposed to being about sex. I also liked your line about Kelly being a discredit to "that part of the body."
So yes, I would agree that the LJR probably has more to do with power & control--through sexual coersion--than with human sexuality.
As a kind of short-course in the broad range of issues Oldtimer's question raises, we need to consider the following ideas:
Sexual preference refers to the preferred gender of an individual's sex partner. Research suggests there is actually a continuum, with about 4% of people who identify as homosexual having an exclusive sexual preference for people of the same gender.
Sexual identity refers to how one constructs their public persona as a sexual being. If 10-11% of the general population identifies as homosexual, that means about 6-7% of people with a homosexual identity may at times choose to be with someone of the opposite gender. This works differently in males & females, btw, with most homosexual males tending to be more fixed in their preferences than many homosexual females.
Sexual identity and preference are fluid experiences for just about everyone except the exclusive 4% on the continuum. On the heterosexual end of the continuum, women who identify as straight tend to be more fluid or changeable in their preferences than men who identify as straight. There are many reasons for this, both biological and sociological. Many people who identify as heterosexual will occasionally have sexual relations with a member of the same sex. These occasional adventures do not make a person homosexual or even bisexual. Only the individual can define for him/her self what his/her sexual identity is. Sexual identity is largely a matter of choice. An individual's dominant sexual preference is not.
Gender identity is how one goes about defining what it means to have the body of a man or a woman and play out biologically and socially determined gender roles.
A cross-dresser is a male who enjoys getting dressed up in women's clothes--may actually become aroused by this activity--but more often than not will identify as heterosexual and generally prefers having sex with women! Cross-dressers I have known will sometimes talk about how they like flaunting social taboos or simply how good it makes them feel to dress in women's clothes, put on make-up, etc.
Cross-dressers are different than drag-queens, who are effeminate gay males that cross-dress primarily for entertainment purposes. The majority of cross-dressers are heterosexual males who do it for private pleasure as opposed to making the kind of public display that defines a drag queen. Cross-dressers and drag queens both challenge cultural assumptions about gender identity.
Some women dress so much like men that they are actually pass for men at first glance. Many of these women identify as lesbian and bisexual, but some do not. Some women who pass for men do this in order to protect themselves. Some heterosexual men are strongly attracted to women who look like adolescent boys--slender hipped, small breasts, good muscle definition, buzz haircuts, no makeup, masculine clothing.
I'm trying to point out the complexity of sexual identity, sexual preferences, and gender role identity. Even for people in the heterosexual majority, there is a lot of diversity in the range of their behavioral preferences and gender identities.
A lot of men will fantasize about having a vagina. The same is true about women--many fantasize about having a penis. Although this fantasy is fairly common and widespread, most people don't talk about it.
A group of researchers who study this stuff have developed something called Queer Theory, which basically says, when it comes to human sexuality, there is no such thing as "normal", there is only diversity (queerness).
There is a strong belief system about "God's plan for men and women" that is held by many people as being the definition of what is "normal," but the research evidence suggests that very few people meet the strictly narrow, most orthodox Judeo-Christian-Islamic ideals of "normal" masculine/feminine gender identity or exclusive heterosexual preferences.
When we focus all our attention on what we believe is the ideal for human sexuality, we often do not take a careful look at who we really are.
