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In Reply to: My Story posted by Anonymous on April 29, 2004 at 14:42:59:
Thank you all for your support. Your comments have been very helpful for me. In the past, I dealt with this issue by bottling it up. I have tried to suppress the memories but I realize that that was an unhealthy way to deal with my issues. I could never fully suppress those memories. And recently, I have been thinking more and more about it and it causes me great distress.
Anyway, I don’t think I can ever confront my brother about this… I don’t think that it would help me heal and move on. Even if I did confront him, I am almost certain he would deny it, even if we were alone. He would probably say I was crazy. He was always good at putting a righteous façade in front of others. I was the only one who got to see beyond that.
The only other person I have told about this was my ex boyfriend. When I told him, he reacted very strangely. He first looked shocked, then he asked me if I was serious (as if I would make something like that up). Then he basically did not say anything. No words of sympathy, no comfort, no help to cope, nothing. He made me wish I had kept it to myself. I regretted saying anything to him about. When I asked him about his thoughts/feelings about what I told him, he said that he didn’t know how to react. He said that he wanted the truth, but in the end, he couldn’t handle it. I think a lot of people are like that… They view incest as something far away, that will never touch their lives. When and if they were ever confronted with it, most would panic.
I think the best thing for me right now would be to try to talk to a counselor or women’s group. I am enrolled at a university that has a Victim Advocacy Center and Women’s Organization. I have passed by the offices often, but I was afraid to go in. I wouldn’t know where to begin. Do I just go in and say, “I was abused as a child, I need help”? I just don’t know where to begin or if I have the courage to do so. Sometimes, it seems easier to just keep things to myself. But I know that I can no longer bottle it up. So I think when the summer semester begins, I will see what I can do.
Thanks again for all your kind words!
