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In Reply to: Re: internet chat as a forum for justice.. posted by Albatross on February 17, 2004 at 13:27:12:
I want to put some input here. Although what you say is very true, you also have to try and put yourself in the shoes of these very misled FGAs. The dynamics may be hard for you to understand or even fathom. In the beginning, there was no sexual deviations. In fact, we all thought we were following a strict religious group patterned after Youth for Christ. Maybe we should have known better, but in our ignorance, we did not. Ignorance is not a crime.
The sexual deviations came later and by that time we were so sure that we were following God and his endtime leadership, to doubt anything was tantamount to being sent to hell and if not in the next life, God would send bad things in this life. Albatross, I firmly believed this. I didn't like the sexual deviations, in fact I hated it and hoped it would go away. But I had so bought into the spiritual part that I was scared to death not to go along with it. I know it's hard to understand, but just try. Worse for me was the fact that by this time I was married and had my first child and pregnant with my 2nd. My husband would hear nothing of any doubts. Neither would any of the people around me. I became convinced my doubts were because of my bad spiritual state and that I simply was not good enough for God or TF. No kidding, I really believed this and it took me years to get over that guilt. In fact, it so affected me that I have absolutely no relationship with God now. I pray sometimes, but only for others. This coming from someone who was bound and determined and fanatical to live the Christian life. Basically, TF spiritually raped me and it ruined any relationship with God that I thought I had.
I am not making any excuses, just asking you to understand some that were also victims within this group. You know, I saw a documentary on a fanatical Christian who thought he had to witness to everyone because the end is near. He ended up doing such crazy things that he ended up in jail for life. All because he thought he had to be so fanatical in order to fulfill the commandment to witness to everyone or else suffer a worse fate in hell. I wanted to shout and say, "you don't have to do that - it's not true - it's a trick" and so on. I feel for people who get so screwed up in their minds about God and the bible and the pastors who lead them in this direction. I can relate.
