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In Reply to: Message from Anneke: "I was wrong" posted by Just the messenger-boy on February 03, 2004 at 09:01:59:
Curious suggested I ask Anneke about her relationship with certain high-ranking leaders of TF, so I did. Here is the reply from her, which she said I could share with anyone that wants to know.
Alan, just an after thought on what I wrote to you. I think it is a little funny anyone is bringing up anything like that about me being a traitor a couple of years after the fact because if anything I have given ideas to people in the past year who want to do something to challenge FCF being in that community. [...]
I used to actually believe Grant when he would tell me how separate the F was from Family Care Foundation. Just from knowing them and talking to some of the people that lived there I saw for myself it was the same thing, just with a new spruced up cover. Then when a friend of mine told me about how she was sexually abused as a child from someone that lived in their home and she felt she was owed an apology from that person even though it happened years before that is when Grant and I quit being friends. Grant and his wife came into my home and I told them about this guy. There were many excuses made about him and them saying they didn't know if this was true or not. I knew from the bottom of my heart that this molestation was true and was so angry with them for basically throwing years of a friendship in my face where they couldn't be honest. I had publicly defended them, had them in my home many times and I in theirs and here they sat with me giving me the Children of God bull shit pat answers. I knew at that point that any friendship I ever thought we had had never really existed and I felt like a fool. To turn the knife in a little more I got a long letter from Grant's wife defending the family to me and saying how great Maria was. This letter was a photocopy and she also sent a photocopy under separate cover to my husband....perhaps thinking I would not let him read my scathing rebuke I received from her. That was Children of God thinking, that I would hide something from my husband.
Ron was furious as well seeing right through that. We knew the original letter had to go to Maria to read. Maria would read how Grant and Sharon dealt with the big bad Anneke for daring to criticize them. From my heart I felt like we were helping Grant and Sharon. I offered to him to let him come live with us if he and Sharon and four kids ever wanted to leave the family. He knew where I stood and still socialized with us. Everyone warned us...all the ex-COG community was very good at warning us but we thought we were making progress. In the past we have befriended members of the Family and had a slow and loving relationship with them where we spoke our mind about their practices but at the same time helped them with their physical needs and more importantly their spiritual needs by encouraging them to come to church with us and reading what the Bible had to say about their controversial doctrines. Over the years we have had families in our home that one day said to themselves they had had enough and w here could they go. They would often contact us out of the blue and ask for a place to stay. Some of these people came with 6 or more children and stayed for over a year while they got on their feet. Once they are on their own they all said the same thing...that they received more caring from us in a year than they ever did for 20 plus years in the Family. We did not do this for our own glory but because we felt that God called us to do this. By taking on Grant as a project we realized we had made a mistake and that he would never change his allegiance but even today, after all that has happened, if he called us and said he wanted a safe place to start over with his family we would take him into our home because we feel it is God who sends these wanting to be ex members to us.
When Grant was venting to me about being upset over a certain website I was trying to be a friend and made an off the cuff remark that I knew would satisfy him and that it would never come down to a court appearance. He just needed to know I was his friend and I still don't remember the concern in question where I stood by him but I am sure I wouldn't have said anything unless I felt there was some injustice done. I am sure now I was wrong but having one of those 50 year old brains I can't even remember it.
Boy, I sure caught hell for that decision but live and learn. Anyway, I know the FCF does some good BUT it is still under the auspices of the Children of God and that is not good. I know the practices and the doctrines are the same as the Family. I told Grant before that his organization does so much good that he should break away from the Family and that I knew he could make it on his own because he was good at what he did. I said this in front of their entire home there one night when we were invited up for dinner. I am sure there were a lot of dropped jaws that I just said it openly like that. Everyone just smiled at me like I was amusing them. Sigh. Needless to say I wasn't invited back again. Soon after is when the falling out came. To be honest, I miss their friendship. We had a good time together at meals and just talking. Once the fun talk stopped and we talked about the serious issues I realized there was no way we could be friends. I really do miss that friendship.
Once I realized I had blinders on though, I knew we couldn't continue on. I was fighting for their souls and in staying friends with them I know I alienated a lot of people. But, the people I alienated had been rescued some time before and were safe! I had to risk losing the popularity contest by sticking with it and hoping there was some way to get them out. I failed and lost a lot of people I cared about as friends. Both in the F and out of the F but I did what I thought was right. These days I let the people I have tried to help in the past come to me. I have no more time or money or energy left for the crusading. [...] I am not doing anything any longer because it is damned if I do and damned if I don't. I have dear friends who are now ex members because of us and I cherish them and am thankful God used us when he did for those people. I don't even go to the boards any more except to Lolo's because they write about current events and it is fun once in awhile when I have the time. I love Joseph and Jane's friendship and love seeing them when there is opportunity and so many others but my crusading days are over. You can share this with anyone that wants to know.
Anneke
