Blows a kiss to the crowd

Hello all,
Today I did what I'd been meaning to do for quite some time now... always lurking in the back of my mind like making banana bread with the frozen bananas in the freezer... eventually I'll get around to it - that sorta thing... so today I googled for ex-cog/ex-family sites and found this site.
I'm an ex-family member. I was in Istanbul in May '74 when the anvil dropped on my head. It was a 5 and half year state of non-Rodney and I came out with the help of a couple of wise deprogrammers. Hummm... I suppose that term isn't used anymore, is it? Regardless, it's obvious that while some things change the song remains the same... Too many ex-members! In other words, to many members and my heart aches and cries.
It's been 20 years and a few months since I regained my critical thinking functions, threw the bible and shit-letters in a bag, and got out of bed in the morning for my own reasons. I still remember the pain though, I still feel the anger of having so much taken away from me. It's good to remember though so I can help my kids and others not experience this.
So I've been reading this and that, wondering of course if the sicko is dead and whether he suffered excrutiating pain in the process, and what might be going on with the group these days. Well, I now know he's dead but I don't know how much he suffered. I'm not obsessed about finding out that he suffered a lot... I just wish I'd been there to help him along. ;-) I see also that the group is still around and that's a BIG bummer. Doing NGO work... fuck! Not a surprise I suppose but you wish there was a sanctioning body that determined the legitimacy of an NGO.
And on this site there's this board. I've read a few of the posts and I'm writing to say to you all... nothing really specific but that life is better for not being in the cult and I feel for you and the pain you feel as you write about your experiences. Some of tales told about the goings-on since I left are truly horrible. My experiences were a joy ride compared to some of you - particularly the SGs (I finally figured out that that means "Second Generation", right?).
So, so, sad.
I think it's probably true that for those of us who were in the group a long time ago and have gone on with our lives (Married, kids, carreers, dogshows, divorced, laid-off, grouding the kid for underage drinking (what? did you think the list was going to be all rosy? :-) )... we wish that the group had faded away like our memories. It hasn't and in fact seems to have gotten worse.
I wish I could extend a hand to all of you, or wave a healing wand, or pick you and hug you and take all the pain away. So instead I'll just do the 'net thing and give this message a comforting greeting.
Hang in there, throw you bibles and shit-books out and live your lives!
Take care. Gotta go... I've got a quiche and a banana/cranberry bread to make, yoohoo!
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