Help me understand

I am a SG woman who grew up in TF. I have been reading the recent discussions on this site regarding the FGs involvement with/responsibility for/innocence in the whole "abuse" subject.

It has been somewhat interesting for me to read the different opinions and feelings on this subject since I was a SG who was a victim of abuse since the age of 8. My parents were both involved in some of the things that happened to me, and my father was one of my (sexual) abusers. They are both now no longer in TF, but I have no relationship with my father. My mother has apologized for her part in my experiences, but she has also laid much of the blame on TF, its doctrines, letters, as well as the general climate of what was going on in TF after Berg's teachings regarding child sex, incest, etc. came out. I would like to understand this more.

Many of you have been talking about your experiences and attitudes from memory, but I am interested in the letters themselves. I would love to see a compilation on the letters and comments that Berg made that would lead TF, and our parents, to believe this abusive behaviour right. I have done my own studies on TF Word program I have, the InfoStore, but they have already purged it of all and any discriminating words. Whole letters (like child brides, the little girl dream, rape, etc) are gone, and some of the sex letters are heavily edited, paragraphs gone, etc. Does any one have originals of these?

I think it's stupid and pathetic that TF thinks that just because they have purged their libraries of these things that it means it did not happen. If we put it all together in one file, it would maybe even help both generations on each end of the spectrum see the depths of degridation and evil Berg stooped to, and help us all to understand a bit more where these ideas came from.

I am SICK, SICK, SICK, SICK of TF constantly declaring that these perverts were all of their own making, and that the letters could in no way have condoned their actions. It is so much bulls**t, and if we had it all in one place it would make a better case. I have even been reading all the "Answers and Questions" letters, as those were rife with child abuse stuff, parents asking about sex with thier kids, and Berg commenting on it with his "Mat. 9:29" s**t. But those too have been purged. Letters like "Eden's Sex" have all been edited out. But even the stuff he said on rape, incest, and child sex; all of this contributed to the "enviroment" that raised us in abuse. I want those letters that created that enviroment. Has anyone ever done a compilation like this?

I found some paragraphs today that chilled me to the core. Just for any of you mothers out there (of which I am one), especially any of you FG mothers who had child after child, believing you were doing God's Will, and believing that Berg and Maria loved you, here is Berg's perspective on your child-bearing. This is unedited. Prepare yourself for a sick, twisted, monster's version of "motherhood":

REVOLUTIONARY SEX! GP 258 3/73

117. BUT I DON'T SEE WHY WOMEN SHOULD GET ANY WEAKER FROM HAVING BABIES, they ought to get stronger! In fact, they usually do get stronger when they're pregnant, & it's usually the healthiest they ever are if they're normal, natural & the way they ought to be. (Maria: The Lord is giving practically all our mothers babies one right on top of each other!) Hallelujah! All right then, even if it's a sacrifice to the mother's health, God must want those babies even if it costs a lot!

118. HE WANTS TO POPULATE HEAVEN WITH HIS CHILDREN!--And the faster we can have them right now the better, as far as He's concerned, obviously! (Maria: Are they supposed to get stronger or are they supposed to get weaker?) Well, it's hard work & maybe if they're overworking & overdoing the mother may suffer for it, but at least God's Kingdom prospers & is blessed. So, if she has ten babies & it kills her, well, there are ten more souls for the kingdom of God!--Shocked?

119. (MARIA: THAT'S THE QUESTION OUR PARENTS HAVE, if they're not going to be able to take care of five children because they're going to be so weak after the fifth one!) Oh blah blah blah! I think that's just an excuse! That's a lot of baloney! (Maria: Not really, because you do really worry about your children if you have to take care of them by yourself.)

120. ALL RIGHT, IF THEY'RE TOO DAMN WEAK TO BOTH BEAR'M & CARE'M, well, they can have'm, & having performed their service, go to be with the Lord, & the husband can marry a nice strong young woman who's got the health & strength to take care of'm! (Maria: It's not that simple, you don't just die!) Why not? Death of mothers was quite frequent when I was a kid. It was not at all unusual for a man to have had two or three wives, not because of divorce & remarriage but because of the women having so many children & such hard work that she finally wore out, or he wore her out, & she died & he married somebody else! Does that shock you?

121. WELL, PRAISE GOD, IF SHE PERFORMED HER SERVICE & SHE DID HER JOB & it got finished earlier than most people & the Lord took her, well she's all the better off, PTL! She never had a chance to even grow old, & he can get a nice young wife with a lot of strength & energy that can finish the job! I mean death is not such a terrible thing!