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In Reply to: Do any FGs really think this? posted by Surprised on December 13, 2003 at 11:45:11:
No one (that I am aware of) has said that there is no case for self responsibility for abuses ANYONE has participated in. What has been discussed is the nature of the beast.
My opinion is that all exers, regardless of "Generation" are victims of a destructive cult until they get out of it and then get it out of them.
Some individuals may have serious issues which a court of law will address or should address but may never.
Some have personal amends to make, which includes to themselves. For many, I think forgiving oneself is the hardest thing to do.
I am glad I got out when i did and that I have worked thru things with my biological family. It scares me to think what other things I may have been involved in or that might have occurred to them had I not. Many factors had to come together to be able to make the break from the family at all, and it was made on impulse then.
To be completely honest, when I left the family, I felt like my decision was wrong. I felt like God could kill us all. It took awhile to realize the depth of depravity within the family doctrine. And to come to terms with what had occurred to my family, including separations from my kids and things that I had read about. I truly wish I had it in me at the time I was IN the family to report it. (What I read). I guess I had to gain some SANITY after getting out to realize what CRIMES THEY WERE.
At the same time, I do have empathy for FG's and support any "G's" efforts at recovery. This I can do because I know more about the nature of that beast now.
I have spoken publically about where the family was heading with children (at the time that I got out) and validated what I had read, seen etc. This was way before the combos, jumbos, JETTS, etc.
As far as people that are sociopathic by nature, they will have no sorrow except for being caught. If and when they ever are.
In the meantime, I want to have a life, and I do, outside of the past. And I deserve that.
My kids moved on a long time ago. Part of the reason they were able to was that I did get to a point where I could hear them and divorce my pain from theirs. This was when they needed me as "mother". At this time I did not "explain" anything about the family or where I was at in it emotionally. I did not discount their accounts of things. I needed emotional support for myself to be able to do this. Probably because I had been sexually and phsically abused in my family of origin and had pain piggy-backing on other pain. Once I was able to do this, my kids were able to recognize that I was not disinterested in them when they were separated from me. They needed to hear my support and not my pain.
AND THEY GOT MY SUPPORT and not my pain. Now what is happening between G's is perhaps a discussion about "Why didn't any of you FG's help us, (at whatever level it was that you were) in the family and abuses were happening?" And perhaps now is the time to say "What happened to you was terrible. I am sorry that I did not intervene." I can say that. I am sorry that I did not intervene.
