|
In Reply to: Re: Guilt and being positive posted by Observer on December 11, 2003 at 13:55:55:
I think that it was possible in certain parts of the world and at certain periods of the Family's history to have not witnessed nor realised that abuse was going on. I personally was never sexually abused, nor physically abused, nor did I ever first-hand witness any other SGAs being either sexually or physically abused, I think I may have had a more charmed life in the group.
I did witness first-hand a few overly -done spankings, and to my shame I didn't speak out against them, something I'll always feel guilty about.
But I heard the stories, I knew things had happened, several of my generation (I'm referring to those who are now between 27-32) did have rather wild sexual encounters. Later on did I find out that my sister, sister-in-law and cousins had all been sexually abused by men in the Family, on more than one occasion in many cases. I also found out more later that some of my own JEtt students had been sexually molested under my nose by at least one top leader, and another a well-known Family character. To my recollection, no drastic nor dramatic punishments were meted out to the offenders for their crimes, though one was excommed a little while later, whether for those specific crimes, or for his long-term abuse of minor girls, or other offences, I'm not really sure.
But it was hard at the time for me to imagine that this was a wide-spread problem. In the early 80's when I was not in the group, it seemed that my age group (between 12 and 16) was experiencing a lot of sexual freedom with adults, and almost anyone in that age group can probably recount a number of stories. When I started hearing about them later (after '85 when we rejoined), I was scared that some guy was going to leech onto me and that I would have to 'give' to him in order to be 'revolutionary'. I became very adept at maneuvering tactics, though I did get pawed at a few times.
When I heard about my sister's abuse, it was almost unbelieveable to me, we were the Family of Love, we protect our children... And of course we had also been taught the whole "flirty little teen' thing, and so to my disgrace (again--another one of those never forgettable bits of guilt), I accounted the abuse to her actions. We were so uneducated in the group about the whole minor/adult issue, and the blame did often land on the girl, girls were often labelled as a flirty little teen, and rather than labelling men as Dirty old Man, the girls got the negative spotlight.
My only excuse is that I was young and impressionable, and had a lack of access to outside information to teach me that it was wrong, that those 12 and ups having sexual relations with adults was not right. Most of my sex education came from the MoLetters, GNs, FSMs, testimonies, and hearing things that came from the Macau Farm, the PI, Latin America. I felt old-fasioned and fuddy-duddy cause I was scared to have sex with just any 'ol person.
That's just my take. I may have been terribly blind. I did know things had happened, a 13 year old boy with an adult woman, and she told me she was having jealousy trials over him, and me, unexperienced and unknowing, was in awe at the 'freedom' that other teens had which I couldn't bring myself to partake in.
The one thing though about sex with minor issue is that I always felt uncomfortable, something in me knew it wasn't right, but it was in conflict with the teachings of the group I was dedicated to, so I ignored it or suppressed it as doubts. I was also very uncomfortable about outer-marital relationships, they made me embarassed to hear about or know about, or to walk in on someone doing their thing, switching partners...
