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In Reply to: A question for Jules posted by Oldtimer on December 09, 2003 at 13:15:43:
You asked Jules' opinion but I'll also give mine as an FGA. First of all, I agree with Albatross below about getting out of the shower. The statement that someone was 'forced' or ordered to have sex with a minor doesn't hold up in the final analysis. But at the same time I understand the logic here: we were in a very over-sexed environment, there was coercian & most of us bought into the free-sex Law of Love to a lesser or smaller degree. We believed it. And yes there were people who were actually ordered to have sexual play with minors.
All of these contributing factors are real but I think we as FGAs are not taking it far enough and are missing the bottom line of the equation, and that is that these factors do not absolve the personal responsibility of the person who abused a minor. Yes, there were contributing pressures but they do not make a crime not a crime. What Jules said about personal responsibility is true. And if you are truly remorseful & penitent & have any understanding of the pain of the young person who was abused you shouldn't make excuses for yourself & attempt to trivilize what happened. That can only cause more damage, IMO. It's like the Family's excuse that the abuse either never happened or, if it did, wasn't really abuse compared to news stories about kids being locked in cellars or being beaten within an inch of their life. In ohter words, 'Others were really abused so what you suffered was not really abuse & you're bitter if you don't let it go.'
About the fellow mentioned above, he should seek out his stepdaughter and sincerely apologized to her. It's surprising that he chose to have his story printed up but missed that important step. It seems that he was doing some catharsis of the soul & you can admire his honesty to state things publicly but his first priority should have been to contact the young woman and apologize & tell her that what he did was wrong & criminal. She was the one who needed to hear it.
