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In Reply to: A question for Jules posted by Oldtimer on December 09, 2003 at 13:15:43:
Good points.
Forensic psychologists & social workers recognize a distinct difference between fixated pedophiles (sexual predators) and individuals involved in a situational transgression. Legal authorities (judges, prosecutors, etc.) have a great deal of discretion as to how they interpret and apply child abuse statutes. While there is wide-spread consensus that pre-pubertal children are absolutely verboten, cases involving adolescents are often looked at as lesser offenses.
It really does make a huge difference whether the victim wishes to prosecute. Without that, there is no criminal case. Many victims have little interest in prosecution. What many appear to want is for the abuse to be recognized and validated for what it was. Remember, many SGA survivors were told it never happened; they made it up or were lying; yeah, it happened but they should forget about it; or that they were responsible for having seduced an older person.
If I were an offender, this is what I would say to my victim: "I am sorry I did such-and-such when you were young. I cannot change what I did, but I would like to make an amends. I have worked hard to change my ways, and I ask you to forgive the wrong I did."
As in the case of SGAs who confront parents about the abuse they experienced, FGAs who want to make an amends should work with a professional counselor and/or sponsor who has experience in this sort of thing. Recovering alcoholics and addicts take this approach to amending the wrongs they did while using.
I'm not making excuses for anyone who was under the influence of the cult by comparing their situation to that of a recovering addict/alcoholic. AAs who make amends don't say, "I was under the influence, that's why I did it, and I didn't know what I was doing." They say, "When I was using, I did this thing (stole money, threw my mother down the stairs, molested my step-daughter, etc.) and I am sorry for that."
One other point: Leaders like Karen Zerby & Peter Kelly face another level of responsibility. They perpetrated a wide-spread social injustice. Although Zerby claims to have apologized to Merry Berg for her maltreatment, this is not the only crime for which she bears responsibility. She also owes an amends to an entire generation who suffered as a consequence of the policies she formulated and promoted. She has consistently refused to recognize the wrongs she perpetrated through her leadership role.
