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In Reply to: Reframing Family-think: I did not "join" the family! posted by jo on December 08, 2003 at 12:16:07:
I think you're onto something, and I hope you will keep thinking and posting stuff along these lines.
An FGA named Eva St. John has posted the story of her recruitment into TF at age 16 at the Movingon website. Eva makes it clear that although she made a "choice", she faced a fairly narrow range of choices at the time she was recruited. Her narrow range of choices were largely due to her abusive childhood and lack of awareness about her alternatives. Furthermore, what she thought she was choosing as a lifestyle commitment was not what she actually came into. Once she realized her predicament, she was not free to just walk away, although she found some creative ways to resist and subvert. (It's a very good posting, imo.
http://www.movingon.org/article.asp?sID=4&Cat=24&ID=1645)
Interestingly enough, a poster named Michael K. who indentifies as FGA also, launches into a response about how Eva and other FGAs "just don't seem to be able to take the blame and responsibility for your own actions..."
Frankly, I think Eva St. John HAS taken responsibility for her victimization in TF and is not making any excuses for herself by explaining why she did the things she did. It's interesting that a male FGA responded to her in the way he did, because mothers with dependent children usually cannot make the same types of choices as those who are unemcumbered.
It's a similar charge made against those caught up in domestic violence: "Why doesn't she just leave?"
There are lots of answers to this, but the one that makes the most sense to me is: Because the energy of the abuse & violence or fear & brainingwashing cycle are much, much more powerful than the single individual caught in its vortex.
