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In Reply to: Adoption by known or potential members of TF posted by Question on November 27, 2003 at 08:10:25:
Having read the comments below I don't think many will share my views but here are my two cents anyway.
ABUSE
I was born and raised in TF and left a couple months ago. I have not lived in a communal situation since 2001. As a kid I experienced and saw abuse, mainly in the 80s but a little in the early 90s. I've travelled around a fair bit since then and honestly don't think that kids in TF are presently in danger from sexual or physical abuse. Yes, there is still that element of control but parents have A LOT more say in their kids lives now than when I was young. I have been in two situations where fathers were excommed for spanking their kids hard enough to result in bruising. The kind of things that were "the norm" (or seemed to be) in the 80s are strongly discouraged and acted on now, at least to my knowledge.
LJ REVELATION
About the LJ revelation. I have seen a "milder" version of this read to 14 year olds but not the whole series. As far as I know, they are not required or actively encouraged to practise it. Ok. Before anyone jumps down my throat. Yes, I do have a problem with the basic concept and, no, I would not want someone reading LJ to my kids at 14, or any age. However, I find other groups (ie. Hari Krishnas) and isms have strange and, sometimes ridiculous and revolting beliefs too.
MEDICAL CARE
While still living in a CM home in the late 90s - 2000 I never had a problem accessing medical care for myself or my kids. The other families in the home (FGs included) also regularly sought medical care for their children when needed.
EDUCATION
Hmmmm.....While there is more of an emphasis on education now than when I was a little cultie I still think that this area is sorely lacking in TF. TF still discourages people from putting their kids in "system" school and encourages them to home-school. Yes, home-schooling can be great and the education provided can be even better than that a a public school. There has to be consistency though - not just consistency when the Education Department is about to visit and check up on you. The quality of education in TF probably varies greatly from place to place.
Having just left, I know about the couple that are trying to adopt. I don't know them personally though. Would I try to do something to stop them? No. Because I don't KNOW that there is a greater chance of that child being abused with her prospective "Family" parents than if she was adopted by someone else. In TF of the 80s. Yes. I'd definitely do something.
I am NOT "pro-TF". My major beef is with the lying scum bag leadership though - not your average member. Each case and person should be judged on their own merits. Most of you were parents in TF once. Were you bad parents? Sometimes maybe but, from observation, it seems that you were trying to do your best. Parents in the group are not automatically bad parents anymore than parents in society at large are automatically good parents. Unless I feel a child IS going to be harmed I see no point in mucking up someones dream of becoming a parent.
