Commentary on Britney Spears

Britney's Unlearned Lesson
by Jerry Gramckow

In a more innocent age, Britney Spears' recent wistful confessions to "Primetime Live's" Diane Sawyer would have been universally understood as a real-life
parable about the pain of misplaced desires:

• The pop mega-star bought a $4.5 million house for her mother, but mourns her parents' separation — a division fueled in no small part by their daughter's
very public pursuit of fame and the fortune that has allowed her to indulge her mother with a $4.5 million mansion.

• As she tried to answer Sawyer's question about her breakup with Justin Timberlake, and his public revelations about their private life, Britney asked
for a break from filming so she could wipe away her tears and compose herself.

• This pop idol whom millions of pre-adolescent girls want to be like and millions of adolescent boys want to be with lives alone in her $3.5 million New
York apartment.

The inescapable conclusion: Twenty-one-year-old Britney Spears has gained the whole world — and seems to be losing her soul in the bargain.

But that conclusion is being missed by some because we don't live in an innocent age. We live in a culture that values entertainment over endurance, commotion
over commitment and fame over fidelity. Those millions of teens and preteens who either want to be with Britney or to be Britney follow the glitz but fail
to see her grief. They see the sculpted body making all the right moves on stage, but they overlook the confused and anguished little girl inside.

So when Britney confides to Diane that despite "the rule in the book, the Bible . . . stuff (premarital sex) can (and did) happen," her impressionable followers
comprehend the natural progression of her sexy on-stage antics. Now, at least she's being consistent. Her adoring fans no longer have to try to sort through
the contradictory message sent by a gyrating, skin-flashing diva endorsing chastity. Unfortunately, they don't realize the price the diva's paying — or
that they're likely to pay in trying to emulate her.

Britney's right; the Bible does have a rule about sex: It's designed to be exclusive to a one-man, one-woman marriage. But it also says a lot more than
that about sex. Apparently, Britney missed the many Bible stories about the heartache endured by those who tried to dodge the rule — not unlike the heartache
she's trying so hard (and futilely) to cover. She also must have missed the Bible stories about the pain the rule-breakers virtually always brought upon
their friends and relatives — and on many others within their spheres of influence.

In a more innocent age, most people had a better grasp of the truth that choices have consequences. Most people understood the futility of trying to have
it all — to "gain the whole world." Britney Spears' on-screen tears are a vivid reminder that in any age, reaching for everything can cost one the most
important thing: honest relationships.

Jerry Gramckow is an associate editor in the abstinence-education department of Focus on the Family.

FOR MORE INFORMATION
Promiscuity is everywhere these days — at the movies, on TV, even in bright lights on billboards. Help teens make sense of these messages in the book "
Pure Excitement: A Radical, Righteous Approach to Sex, Love and Dating."
It features letters from teens who took a stand for purity and are now experiencing a lifetime of rewards, as well as comments from those who compromised and now regret their decision.

Copyright © 2003 Focus on the Family
All rights reserved. International copyright secured.