The Fam has rewritten it's Charter !!

I know a lot of people are going to balk at rule # 10! A lot of members have cats to keep their Home's clear of mice and they are quite attached to them--this shoul be a wake-up call to all Family cat-lovers and probably dog lovers as well.

YOUR NEW LJR CHARTER!!!
ATF-N0.1-47MA-4/1/02-

THE FOLLOWING ARE MANDATORY NEW LJR BELIEFS AND RULES FOR THE ENTIRE FAMILY! Please read prayerfully and sign your compliance at the bottom of the page.

1. Father David is the End-Time Prophet sent by GOD.
2. Mama Maria has received a "double portion" of David's spirit and inherited the "spiritual scepter of David's penis as his Brunheld". Mama has also been ordained to be Jesus' and David's Queen of Heaven whose breasts are "full of new wine, to blow your mind and make you clime".
3. Peter has received a spiritual pussy but is still to be recognized as a "King of princesses".
4. Masturbating in public places such as restrooms, shopping malls, buses, or at the movies etc .is forbidden except in those occasions where it would encourage some ones faith.
5. The Family is now to "go to the Catholics" and show their priests the LJR in order to "save the church". Mama says, "the best way to do this, is in the 'confessional' when they are least expecting it. And it would be 'best if our men showed them and not our women' so there wouldn't be any 'hanky-panky' that might get the priest in trouble with his superiors or even his congregation. PTL!"
6. The Family is to visualize world peace when they have LJR time. To facilitate this, world maps should be kept in all bathrooms and on the ceilings above all beds. Dad's picture may be put in the ocean area.
7. Mama gave final confirmation that Godaffi is, more than likely, the False Prophet because, among other things, he has recently forbidden masturbation throughout Libya and told women in the Libyan army that they must not have "those noisy orgasms" during sexual intercourse while they are in combat.
8. Once a month, on the full moon, all Family members are to masturbate outside while gazing at Space City. In urban areas this could be done on rooftops but the men should be considerate if there is traffic below If this is not possible, as an exception to the rule, this may be done in your car.
9. Video's of Mama and Peter wearing masks and having LJR time are not to be shown during dinner or at school functions.
10. Big animals such as dogs or large cats are not allowed in bed during LJR time. And even though smaller animals like guinea pigs etc are OK, Mama says, "this should not be encouraged because this is a special time".
GBY and KMFJ--Your Family Counsel