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In Reply to: To Sam posted by Jules on August 28, 2003 at 07:24:23:
Maybe I am imagining things but I have felt a strong dislike from your part toward me. I thought it was just about me, but M. who also worked with you said that you had the same general approach towards her. I then realized in was not just about me. This is years ago.
When you started moving on, as you may remember I wondered into that site and into the chat room,
and if I remember it was about that time that you passed that regulation that only young ex can post there. I may be wrong with the timeing. At any rate, I have wondered if I had anything to do with your regulation to keep older exers out of your website.
I have said and I agree that it is good for young exers to have their own private space, but what I have picket up from you is a hostility and antagonism against all older former members.
When one younger person committed suicide and I said something or asked something, some info, I believe it was you who asked in a rather abrapt way that I don't talk about it. The message I got, and I could be wrong was, shatup Sam, he was a SG, it's none of your business. She is one of ours.
Generally speaking I felt that you were building a high wall of separation between the two generations. I think some small wall of separations is needed, logical, let's say a few feet high to keep the dogs out.
But you seem to have build or are trying to bulid the Berlin Wall all over again, or maybe the walls of Babylon.
All this became clearer when I came to the conference. You acted like I wasn't even there.
And I didn't like what you said in your presentation about older members who fight the COG. You said we do it out of guilt for what we have done. In other words all that is motivating us is guilt. It was also the way you said it. I have ordered the vidoe and I'll watch it again. I may have misunderstood the context. But I sure was offended sitting there in the middle of that lecture room hearing you say that. It was maybe just the way you said it, the way it came out.
You did however give us credit for been respecful of your website and not posting there, or something like that. It made somewhat of an impression that you would say something positive about older members, as I was begining to feel you were past that.
And when David was talking to Marina, he was telling her that our generation of the 60ies was a selfish generation, all we cared about was our drugs and pleasure, something like that. It is obvious he felt contempt for that entire generation. I don't want to get into the hippy generation, but there is a lot that can be said about that generation that is very positive. For one thing many of them were true idealists.
It was just another example of looking us and our generation as no good losers, etc., etc.
This is one of the blind points I was talking about in another post, though I was not talking about you. Maybe you don't realize how offensive your attitude is. Maybe you are so absorbed in your own pain, you don't have any sense, or consideration or respect of other people's pain.
We all got hit by the same huricane, Jules. You got hit harder than us because you were younger.
It only makes sense that in any given situation children get abused more that adults, and women get abused more than men. But we all got abused.
I am not aking you kiss and make up with those who molested you, far from it. But in everything there is a balance and you can go too far in either direction.
Someone as yourself, who controls a website as important as yours, you have a lot of power in directing or channeling opinion. Please don't tell me you are just a platform, or forum, you are neutral, etc. They look up to you!
Barney's website was the way it was because of Barney, all the Jerry Springer stuff, all the nonsence that only know is dying out with Barney's departure.
You can say the same with Miriam's website, the same with exfamily, a lot of the DNA of a particular website comes from the one who got it started.
I said all this and I am still on line one of your letter.
Sam A.
