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In Reply to: Re: To X-Family second generation in general. posted by Omar on May 03, 2002 at 15:27:31:
Thanks Omar for taking the time to post this. I agree with you, I wish YOU were there in the beginning too. I wish you had been there and taken me away before I wasted 20 years of my life.
You seem to have quite the head on your shoulders many of us in the beginning did not have and apparently, many still don't. I think I understand better now what you were trying to say in your first post, it was a little confusing for me.
In the beginning it is true that we were all on-fire as they say and ready to win the world, do something with our lives and really make a difference. We also found God and felt that we had the answer to life's ills. We were following Jesus and the bible, we were young and impetuous and fanatical to a fault. Mostly, we were NOT following Berg, that came later. But by then it was too late, the seeds of fear had been planted. We were innocent and led astray. Yes, we were stupid to follow Berg, but we were also somewhat entrapped in the thinking that we were following God in the "best group in the world."
I don't know, Omar, I'm sure it's hard for you to understand what the heck your parents and us older people were thinking and why we continued on when it should have been obvious. But this is something that each member or exmember has to reconcile on their own. Each person has a different story to tell. You really can't lump everyone into a neat, tidy little package of a bunch of wooses (sp?) who mindlessly followed Berg. Many of us (as in my case) had children we couldn't leave behind and spouses that wouldn't hear any talk of speaking against God's great prophet. You weren't there, so you wouldn't know what it was like in the early days. You wouldnt' know the bible verses and constant haranging from "God's chosen leadership" about murmuring and speaking against the work that God was doing. You wouldn't know that visiting servants went around sharing the story of two brothers who left and were killed in a train accident and that this is what God does to people who disobey and leave his work. Yes, it was stupid to believe that, but worse, it was horrendous for people in a position of authority and responbility to promote this kind of fear and scare tactics. The damage done by that cannot be undone.
Yes, we're over it, but many aren't. This is the point of this site and the resulting offers of advice and tangible help that we can do to people damaged by this organization. Do you fault us for that? Not to mention the children being born in this group even now and the fact that they will not have a choice on how to lead their lives, that the sexual aspects of the group remain pretty much as they were, with a few new rules here and there. That the adherence to leadership is still there, albeit a lot more subtle. That they are denied a proper education, they are denied friendships and outside influences other than Family ordained.
And Omar, being over it and doing something about the damage done and continues to be done are two different things, don't you think? It's not like I sit around my house all day long talking about the old days and what happened. I might do that now and then when I meet exmembers, but my life is normal just like anyone else. Except of course, when they start asking questions, then the spotlight goes on. Do you think that it makes me feel good knowing that I have inadvertently put my children in harm's way? Do you think that I have gotten over that? Rest assured that most of us continuously kick ourselves in the butt until I'm sure we are now red rare from all the butt-kicking. All we want to do is make some amends for the past and try and undo the damage that we inadvertently were responsible for. The biggest thing in my opinion is to undo the damage Berg did by reveal the truth about him and about the group that he created and promoted. That will tear down the walls of that facade and free the people trapped within, and most importantly the children even now being born in that group. Personally, I think it's a noble cause and I would hope that you would think so too.
It's really not completely accurate to say that Berg is dead and has no power over our lives. He actually lost that power the day I decided he was not God's prophet. That stranglehold disappeared. However, the tentacles of the affects he had on both me and my children nevertheless remain and are a continual sore spot that never completely goes away. Plus, he still holds a power over the COG even to this day though he is dead, because the words he wrote are used to keep the group going in all it's ugly glory.
I really do appreciate you taking the time to share with us what you are feeling and how you view things. It's a great help for us and can only help us see what we need to do in order to be of a greater help to others. Please do continue to enlighten us and tell us just what you think.
