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In Reply to: Re: Why don't you have him arrested when he gets into your town. posted by Acheick on May 21, 2003 at 16:01:05:
My family is having its own little mini-drama as well, and it makes me mad how the Family has really destroyed the relationship I have with my parents and almost put a wedge into the relationship I have with my siblings.
My younger sister is getting married and has officially not invited my dad. She has informed him and all of us he is not welcome at the wedding and she doesn't want him to walk her down the aisle. This has been hard for me to cope with as I feel I've been able to put the past behind me and the fact that my parents made choices in my life for which I am bearing responsibility and I wonder that my sister can't do the same. But she views the situation differently from me and feels my dad has lost his rights to being a father to her due to his lack of responsibility in her life, such as allowing us to be raised in an environment that did not provide us with a proper education, that placed children in an immoral and potentially dangerous situation, that allowed us to be exposed to ideals and beliefs which are twisted and not natural.
She holds him accountable for her present education and the fact that he hasn't helped her with it, and for past emotional abuse he committed against our mother, as well as other things.
I am the type of person who figures 'live and let live' to an extent, and am able to allow my dad to continue being a part of my life, but my sister isn't, and I almost has a nervous breakdown over it. I wrote my whole family and told them I needed a break from them and not to write or contact me and I wasn't sure if I would go to the wedding cause it was just looking too dramatic and emotional for me. To say the least I got a few responses from my siblings and my Mom was quite p-d at me and wrote me a pretty scathing letter. And it just reminds me how much the Family has interferred in our personal family and I feel very alone much of the time.
I have a large family and I have a good husband and kids, I have friends, but in many ways I feel alone and like my ability to truly trust and depend has been ruined, perhaps it has to do with my destruction in faith in God, I mean, if He let me down, what about mere mortals?
Anyway, it is one deep bitterness I have against the Family and many leadership is their complete and total interference in God's natural order of families and siblings and parents. Sure the Family gives an appearance of supporting families and kids and parents, but in reality, that appearance is very thin, and as soon as 'word comes from on high' then that family unit is a thing of the past.
In our case, the Family tried very hard to break my siblings and I up as they saw our loyalty to each other as a weakness and disloyalty to them, the group. I was corrected many times for being 'cliquey' with my siblings, and I still have that guilty feeling when I get too emotional about them. The absolutely stupid thing is, why did God give us a family? Who is supposed to be there for you? Who was there for me when I left? The Family hasn't supported me or helped me or anything since I left, once I was gone it was like 'Goodbye and good riddance!', but my siblings were there. And I only wish I could trust in them and their love, but it is very hard and I think I'll never break a certain wall that has been built up around my emotions and trust levels, and that's why I feel like the eternal loner no matter the vicinty of my loved ones.
