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exFamily.org > chatboards > genX > archives > post #8338

Re: From the ashes of defeat

Posted by acheiver on April 11, 2003 at 07:32:51

In Reply to: From the ashes of defeat posted by Lyle on April 10, 2003 at 18:31:04:

A lot is determined by what measure you judge success. Some people think they are successful because they have a big house and lots of money, but their family is a mess and they still cling on to old ways from their years in TF, even if they don't realize it.

There was one Hollywood star from an old sitcom many years ago who was recently passed up for an award. When the media approached him about it, he shrugged his shoulders and said, getting an award does not mean I am a success. If my children love and respect me, then I know I am a success. I think Jacqueline Kennedy said something similar.

People leaving TF are going to go through many of the same things they would have if they weren't in TF and may have been going through when they joined and then continued on after they left because it was never resolved. Of course, there are going to be added factors such as large amounts of children to care for, or being in the right place at the right time, or having a skill that one developed before TF and then was able to continue developing it in TF as it was a needed skill for the use of TF. Other skills may have been overlooked or not needed, thusly, leaving an exiting member with nothing to fall back on. These are all different factors that add to the equation. I think unresolved issues are the biggest hinderance in getting on with life after exiting. It can drag one down so far that they do not know how to manage. This is when we see people like MG talks about, who cling on to the idea that if they just tithe, they will still get that reward in heaven, and it makes some sense out of their sad existence.