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In Reply to: Re: The norm for men in the family, mated & single-to a husbandh posted by romantic reflections on March 05, 2003 at 09:10:47:
To tell you the truth I have no idea how statistics can be used when you don't know the composition of The Family. I understand husband and another ex-brother but I cannot accept that all are this way or the other. In fact, what I think about this whole topic is that our reaction to FFing is closely related to our own different experiences and inclinations from even before joining The Family and it doesn't matter if we are a man or a woman. I am pretty sure that one of the reasons of why we joined The Family is related to our own personal need for acceptance, some sort of demonstrative love and reassurance. Not that it is a weakness but many people who do not have those needs also fail the "being sensitive" test, men or women. In other words, I believe that the vast majority of people in The Family were/are sensitive people, just like husband.
This is not true in my observations of the population at large. In other words, that what you refer to as normal distribution in The Family as far as <u>sensibility</u> does not really reflect that of society at large.
As far as their sexual behavior there were some real jerks in The Family but they were probably those who joined for the sexual fish and loaves they got more than anything else. I'm not sure if this will apply to the women who joined The Family but in my observations in the general population, most men are out to get women in the sack while most women are out to get men into relationships. What I am saying is that I think that some people in The Family did/do follow the general distribution of sexual behavior patterns in the population at large but it was a minority. Most were sensitive people even though to you they may have seem to be a majority. Perhaps they were sensitive while at the same time trying to get in your pants. I don't mean to sound crude here but maybe the issue was not the level of sensitiveness but of testosterone, which at the age group we are talking about is stronger than common sense.
My own personal experience and observations on other people's reactions to FFing, men and women, reflect many of the same trials expressed by husband and another ex-brother, I couldn't do a better job of telling them. If nothing else, these stories are an indictment against the cruelty inherent to the evil doctrines of separation taught by Berg.
Of course, as The Family is concerned, the weak people who were sensitive enough to not be able to handle such trials and tribulations left. They were weak to begin with. Those who didn't leave were the strong ones. But the real explanation is that those who were sensitive and never left in spite of the pain and suffering were not able to make the break even though they saw how perverse it was. I cannot conceive that sensitive people are willing participants in cruelty. I am sure they have created their own fence to protect themselves against it and turned either benevolent dictators or hardened their hearts to become oblivious to pain and suffering.
I am also convinced that the vast majority of those who stayed and remain in the group -never mind how they first joined- are of the insensitive kind, the fish and loaves type who are being trap by the current net of deception.
I can't believe I had this mouthful to say. Please be cautious when you ask me, I can't control myself because I like burning bridges that connect me with the cruelty and deception I experienced in the past.
