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In Reply to: No credit to TF and hats off to my daughter posted by MG on February 23, 2003 at 16:30:22:
The F. robs FG's of a proper education too. I was already a dropout from school when I met and joined, and started getting busy having children.
When I got out with several kids to raise, no education and job experience, it was no easy thing either. In fact in many ways it's harder to be somewhat older and explain to potential employers during an interview, what you've been up to all those years, and why you haven't cared much about your education and career. You get on-the-spot about being irresponsible, and a lot questions are raised about your thinking. Just what were you thinking? What are you hiding? What makes you work? Or not work in this case.
It goes with the territory. As an employer myself, when I interview someone I want to know what they've been up to. When someone shows up at say 40 years old, and something doesn't add up and they pretty much say between the lines that they haven't done or cared too much about their career, I'd have a tendency to classify this person as a drifter, or someone who doesn't really know what he or she wants. Of course people can change jobs and switch careers in the course of a life time, but they'd generally have a lot more to say about what they've done and their dedication to it, than one of us ex-member FG's.
We exers sort of come out of nowhere - no tax returns filed, no employment history, nothing that career-minded human resource personnel in many serious firms would understand. The way they think is you're supposed to have already selected a career choice early on in life, put a lot into it, and become pretty established by the age of 40, so what gives? They're more reluctant to invest in job sponsored education for you when you come in at an older age.
In that respect, it's easier (God, don't hate me, dear SG's!!) for someone young to explain they don't have an education and experience, becuase that goes with the territory more, and is easier to understand. When a young person says, give me a try I am willing to learn, it's alot more believable than hearing it from a 40 year old man who says he's had several kids, never had long-term employmnet, and moved about in several countries, and finally now wants to be given a chance to learn and get serious about a career choice.
After years of relentless poo-pooing of "man's wisdom" and the "handicap of natural ability" and "you are what you read", and all the brutalizing, it's a mircale to still have your mind intact and functioning at all, whether FG or SG. Not to mention feelings of guilt we ALL feel after leaving. (It's a common factor)
Our lack of self-worth and feelings of inadequacy, which while it served well in the Fam. as some kind of enforced humility, serves no purpose in a real world where people are competitive, and confident at what they do, because they know they've put a lot into being good at it.
BUT WAIT!!!!
Now I've gone and made it sound like it's horrible and impossible. That's not what I'm trying to say!
What I am trying to say is, even though those are real problems and fears that potential departees face, FG or SG alike, there is nothing like diving into the unknown. Once you are certain the Fam. is not your place, it may be scary "out there" but it's a truly liberating experience. If there was anything resembling TRULY "forsaking all" (when you know you cannot live a lie anymore), and going "by faith" to seek the promised land, THIS IS IT!
It's difficult, but I've done it, and so have many others. It's achievable! I know many FG's who've come out in their 40's and 50's and went on to break in to the job market and make themselves very employable. We have nurses, teachers, academics, scientists, lawyers, musicians, computer experts, insurance salesmen, business people, and you-name-it. Some had more education and experience, others had less.
