Am I one of the few lost my way

It's been yeare but I still have family friends that come by from time to time. Everyone seems to me to have a connection but I feel alone in my world with Jesus the letters and basic rules. I help care for my wifes father in law who is 83 and blind. He lives below us and requires constant attention. He can't walk or do much and he is pissed off at his daughter most of the time when he has his mind. I'm in debt and lost and for an ex child of God whew. I'm doomed. Everyone seems like they have their life together and I feel like It's the end of the road. can't get much worse. I'm grateful for the fact that I'm saved by faith and gods grace gift because I'm seeing how nothing I am. Please pray for me. I was in the Fam from 1972-1978 and 1987-1989. Jabal , Matt, With Shulamite Irfer's bewARE. I am so supprised that I'm having this life and death struggle at this time in my life. I am thankful for the word I memorised to help me and so of the good from the family. Where do you go when your used to the Family and your lost. Seeking for the way I'm not a church person love the Lord and precious word.
I've been working as an autonmotive machinist for 16 yeras. Even when we were a DO home I don't know how they are called now I was working and the Family home was my house. Whew what a trip
we got more done when we were Ts and when we became do there was a heavy down works spirit. Could have been the sheppherd who was sent who later was ex com mabey not. we were in Washingtion State nere Spokane in the hills. I never would have thought I would have ended up like this. Out and alone and out of it. Sorry I haven't written for so long Love each and all
Matt