wars & rumors of wars

I am not about to start a political discussion on the rapidly escalating possibility of a US-led war against Iraq (which is beginning to look more and more like a question of when rather than if). I would just like to get other recovering exers views of your own journey in the light of this looming reality. Does this affect your own approach to recovery? For me it does. It further underscores my mortality and the shortness of life. It gives me a heightened sense of urgency not so much to "recover completely", as if that is at all possible, but to start maximizing my existence. To live life more fully. To keep looking forward and discover what else I can do to really LIVE. To manage better the controllable factors in my life and accept the uncontrollable. To be more choosy of my battles. To stop lamenting my past.

As I know I'm going to die someday then I owe it to myself and those that care for me to be happy and to pursue my happiness as if I only have a short time left.

In the fam we were taught to make others happy first then happiness will find you. I've discovered the reverse to be more true and sustainable. If I'm happy my happiness will radiate to all those around me, they will pick up on my energy and they will be happy too. It's more sincere and has a longer-lasting effect. The former was simply a form of repression apt to come out sooner or later anyway, and that with a more devastating effect.

It all comes back to this myth drilled into us about serving God and others at the cost of "losing" our lives. I don't subscribe to that anymore. I am not religious but I consider myself to be spiritual. I have come to believe that the best way to serve God is to become the best that I can be. To gain that fullness of life that I am sure I am meant to have. I believe that if I am in tune with my spirit I will summon all the cosmic forces of the universe to achieve my goal of living life with JOY. That is now what my spirit longs for. If war does break out I may have to rechannel my energies outside of myself. But until then, full steam ahead.