Re: Here’s something

I spend a lot of time reading the MovingOn website. Mostly I listen, listen, listen and think about what the SGAs are talking to each other about. They generate a tremendous amount of empowerment energy that can only be shared among peers--and I am not a peer. But I do get a kick out of watching such an incredibly resilient group of young people work through their issues and move on.

When I was in direct practice as a clinical social worker, I did treatment interventions with abused kids in foster care and residential centers. I agree with Marina that a lot of the generalized anger SGAs focus on FGAs is redirected from biological parents with whom they cannot directly work out their issues.

Something we know about the research on resilience in abused kids is this: Those who move on to self-directed, productive adult lives can almost always point to a nurturing adult who was there for them when life was otherwise aweful. FGAs who know how to take care of themselves can nurture and support SGAs by refusing to take their anger personally.

Sometimes people with an abuse history work out their issues through a secondary relationship in which they re-create the original trauma(s) through provocative and antagonistic behavior. It's important not to get hooked into this power and control energy and retraumatize someone by snapping back. I have learned to avoid these triggers by getting support for my own abuse issues, which (IMHO) is best done with my peers.