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In Reply to: Re: How do we measure guilt and blame posted by Acheick on January 22, 2003 at 16:43:31:
You said exactly what I had trouble saying, regarding my own sense of responsibility. My own children, plus several SGs I helped leave (I had the pleasure of being reunited with them last summer), do not hold anything against me. They are in fact very thankful for the extra care and protection they got while in the F., and that they all got out early on in their lives thanks to my efforts. I don't know of anyone who knew me who holds anything against me. It's not like I was altogether de-COGed when I left. If anything, I had to get the F. out of me -- I had unlearn my patriarchal attitude and my ideas of child discipline. The patriarchal thing came undone ina matter of months. The discipline thing took a couple of years before I realized I had to unlearn everysinglething. Then it was fine. I have talks with my children now, and they say it may have been rough in the beginning, but they only really remember the changes for the better, and really appreciate how I brought them up.
Were the Davidito books out when I was in? Yes. Did we read or practice them? No. We were too busy trying to raise funds and survive as missionaries, and too busy trying to keep up with the new letters, and too busy trying to keep up with whatever dictates of our shepherds. I remember one couple who tried to follow and live just like Berg and the Davidito letters, but we all thought they were nuts, and nobody I knew of really bothered with that stuff. It's quite possible to ignore or read selectively, or compartmentalize and leave aside things you don't accept for later. I had that "we'll cross that bridge when we come to it" attitude regarding many many things in the F., including the Davidito stuff. Am I denying responsibility for not speaking up? No. I should have known better. I was just so busy and overwhelmed with trying to keep up daily, that it never occured to me those writings could serve as a blueprint for abuse. I was too stupid to know better. For that I take responsibility.
