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In Reply to: Fernandez -- in or out ?or in AND out & in and out &...... posted by R. Fernandez (reposted) on December 10, 2002 at 18:28:17:
first of all, i was talking about his published response to dr agemians inquiry. he spoke w/ clear wording concerning ssu being a seperate entity. as for his own involvement in the family, he refused to answer unless sam made his intentions known. what would one expect him to do? but i do not see that as a lie. do most EXMems tell their entire past to everyone they meet?
2nd, his response to vv is obviously designed to fudge the issue. but i did not see any patently untrue statement. i don't know his story that well, but i know watch was in and out, and i think rf was too, wasn't he?
but NEITHER of these communications is the type of thing i was referring to. yes, there is a possibilty that a famem being confronted w/ his connection might lie. or he might freeze, and watch his whole life pass before his eyes. either way, if the confronter stays calm, and at least tries to explain his rationale for the action. HE won't come across as sneaky. as mg says here, his sit. w/ the missionary did cause his wife to begin to question the fam.'s rightness. why not introduce those concepts in an attitude of concern , so the seed has better soil in which to take root?
it is possible that i might be fooled by a fammem, but i am not sure assuming EVERYTHING they say is a lie.
i do feel ssu did sin against vv by hiding their identity from someone w/ whom they were going to partner w/ financially, as the very real possibility of exposure down the line put vv's financial involvement, and reputation, at risk. (to put in family terms, if any are reading, people w/ herpes have the obligation to disclose that before they share w/ someone!)
