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In Reply to: saying yes to my kids posted by Post R on April 25, 2002 at 00:24:01:
I can't say I would give my blessings, it would be very hard for me as a mother to say, "Yes, I totally support this group you're going to join and you have my blessings, go in peace!"
I don't know what I'd say, I just hope that if the event happens, I will handle it well. I discussed this today with my step-mom, and came to the conclusion that I would ensure that
1. My child fully understands the group they desire to join and are aware of any negativity surrounding it or its practices
2. Offer my child a deal first, "You finish college, if you want to do this still, I'll give you money for the ticket."
3. Meet and become familiar with the group they desire to join.
If my child has been fully educated about their decision and they still decide for it even if I don't agree, what else can I do beside give them my blessing? It is their choice, esp. if they are of age, it's not my choice to make. It is only my responsibility to educate them, love them, and be there for them. I would not want my parents to interfere with any choice I ever made as an adult, but I would appreciate them being in touch with me and supporting me, then I know if I ever change my mind I can easily come back to them and know they won't condemn me for making a mistake.
How many of you were driven away by your parents when you decided to join the cult and your parents were fully against it? My father, uncle and aunt totally blasted my grandparents with "America the Whore" shit and all, but they still kept their arms open and supported them through their time in the cult and after they left. They never judged or closed off their blessing, and that is one thing that makes them wonderful, their love and support despite making a wrong decision.
I mean what could you do if your child is dead-set on going a certain way? Withdraw your blessing and lose your relationship with them, or be there for them through it all? My Mom was out of the group while we were in, she was there for us the whole time and never criticised the cult to our faces, never told us her bitternesses and grievances, supported and loved us despite the cold treatment we gave her and looking down on her. And when we left, who did we turn to for help? Though our relationship with her was terribly suffering and distant, she was there for us, giving us support and bringing us in to her circle as we needed it. For that reason I will always love her and never criticise her, just cause she never did it to me. I hope I can do the same for my kids, but better, I hope that if they decide to follow some sort of group I can maintain a close relationship with them.
Ultimately, it is their choice as individuals.
