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In Reply to: saying yes to my kids posted by Post R on April 25, 2002 at 00:24:01:
If my son were gay, or my daughter in a bad marriage, that is their making, I can be there for them, I can help them as much as I can. I can offer advice, I can try and steer them in the right direction. Or I can just wait and see how it pans out, our my instincts right, I could be wrong, after all? Will there be a divorce or even abuse? I may not know. To me all that is different. The F. is a different story. It's more dangerous in that it's so deceptive and unreal. It puts people in an unreal world and leaves them powerless to function, totally dependent on their regime. And we know it, we know what they are capable of in spite of the sweet faces and nice smiles. Haven't we been there or is it so easy to forget already.
When I met the F. I wish someone had come up to me and shook my shoulders and shouted at me, "Do you really know what you are doing? Do you know what you are getting involved in? Have you really investigated this group? Don't you think it's wiser to take time to investigate it? Here's what I know and why you should be leery." I bet I woulnd't have joined. I bet I would have thought about it and changed my mind. Have you ever gone shopping and put a bunch of stuff in your cart and by the time you reached the counter you were putting stuff back. Just alittle bit of time to think about it and you realized you didn't need that stuff after all or you couldn't really afford it.
I also think SamA made an excellent point when he mentioned that by befriending and hanging around F. members had put this person's family at risk of rejoining. This is what makes them so dangerous. I still can't forget Bithia. Cathy also made another very good point. Spending all of ones time and energy on a philanthropist project that takes your every waking minute will take a toll on your family. A verse always comes to my mind, "This ye ought to have done and not to have left the other undone." If they see their parents so preocuppied with a certain group and their members, they could very likely gravitate to that thinking that's where they will find the attention they have not been getting. I saw this with another exmembers family. The children have become very neglected by their parents preoccupation with putting all their energies into F. and exF. people. I still can't forget one offspring's comment to me. I apologized for all our talking about the F. and how it must be boring her. She retorted, "Well, who cares, I may as well be a F. member, that's all I ever hear about." I can still hear the tone of her voice, so exasperated. Sad thing is, she should know nothing since she was barely even in the F. I would never do that to my children. I don't think that's fair to them. We ran out for the sake of our children, why put them back in harm's way? It's one thing to educate them as to the evils of the F., it's another thing to emerse them in it as if there is some redeeming value.
I agree with PD in that once a child turns 18 they are basically on their own and I don't force my children to think like me or be like me. That's not the issue. However, I do feel it is still my responsibility to let them know in no oncertain terms how wrong of a decision they are making and how unhappy I am about it. Of course, I will always love them no matter what, they already know that.
