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In Reply to: Fortunately my mental paralysis was only at 80% posted by Donny on November 21, 2002 at 11:35:26:
That's a good way of looking at it Donny. I think I was 90-95% brain dead at the height of my fanaticism. Had the Waco not happened while I was still in I venture to guess that I WOULD have probably obeyed and taken my life (yikes!)Thank God this is just hypothetical!! COULD I have done it? For sure. That was in fact my family's greatest fear. When Waco happened I think I got a visit from my sister who anxiously checked me out and I'm sure she saw the "lovelight" in my eyes which would have fed her fears even more. I shudder now at the thought. The tragedy of Waco jolted me from my brain dead stupor and my gut feel/conscience must have gotten a foothold into my consciousness until years later, I was able to break free.