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In Reply to: We were all victims of a manipulative and controlling posted by goth88 on November 06, 2002 at 12:11:00:
In reply to your statements above, I see where you are coming from. But I thought you would like to have another opinion on the matter.
From my personal perspective (and that of my siblings), the adults (FGA's) were always the ones who punished us. I know that when we were kids, we all felt that the adults were out to get us beings that we got disciplined for being foolish, for vain babbling, for being young people in general. We were given jobs at very young ages (I now know that it was because of Berg, saying that we, the SG's should pick up the mantle). I was a kitchen deacon at 15yrs old, I took care of so many children-when I was burnt out, I was told "well, you need to keep them because in a few years, I'll be stuck with them all on my own and you'll be on some exciting mission field"...and that is an exact quote. Another, said that "You should be gratefull for having the opportunity to work with the Lord's blessings-and should be happy about it". This particular woman has 13 children, and treated everyone of them as the bigest burden on the face of the earth.
My little brother was beaten so many times, I won't even try to count-but not ONE FGA tried to stop it.
Basically, what I/we have always seen is that we were doing your jobs, taking care of your children, and raising funds for rent from the time some of us were 11 or younger while not knowing what the adults were doing with their time (apart from planning fellowships, praying, reading the "word", scheduling, and disciplining us).
I now see why it was the way it was, and I have come to accept it. I have forgiven my parents, and we are on good terms. I do not hold a grudge against any FGA's except for a the ones who I felt hurt me, my family or others that I cared about.
The reason for this post is not to "point fingers" or place blame. It is so that you have another perspective.
Alot of young people see FGA's as their "tormentors". You may not have done the abusing-but, most (from what we -the SGA's saw) didn't stop it either. I'm not saying that this is the case at all...it's what we as kids/young people saw/felt.
Personally, I know that there was so much going on beneath the surface, that the regular home members can not be blamed. But others, don't understand that yet, or they don't want to.
Others would like to forget and move on and never come into contact with another FGA so that they don't have to deal with it.
And others-want to blame the FGA's. They want to feel that they are better because you chose to join and they didn't.
With me personally, I will never understand how a parent can stand by (talking about my parents-no one else) and let their children be made slaves. I will never get why such harsh punishment was accepted as the norm, and I sure as shit will never understand why anyone would stay in after most of the sick letters were put about children! I'm not bitter-I just don't understand. But that's what I've come to realise, that the cult did a mind job on the FGA's and that a parent that let all of that happen was not in a very good mental state. They were in a sense brain washed. Which is why I have no problems with the majority of the ex family FGA population. They/you saw the problem and chose another life-left the cult behind.
But please-allow these SGA's to rant and rave and feel how ever they'd like to about the FGA population. I think that in time, most will come to accept that what happened-happened to everyone, on different levels, yes-but still to everyone, and not just to them.
Wow, this is a bit longer than I had planned, but...there ya have it.
I'm sorry if I've upset anyone that feels that I've made a generalization, but that was not my intent. Again...going on what my siblings and myself feel.
