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In Reply to: These are very good points posted by Acheick on April 22, 2002 at 09:54:14:
I think a do and don't list would be great, not anything with anyone's personal judgements on it but basic do's and dont's like: Do pay taxes, you can do them by mail, or e-mail most of the time you will use the w1040 form ect; Or: When going for job interviews ask about health benifits and 401K and then explain the benifits of having benifits. Or stuff like what you can use from being in the family to put on a resume, like PR work and Teaching and Volunteer work ect...
Something that explians a pap smear and why it is so important for all women especially those who have never had one, then you could list the free clinics like Planned Paraenthood or other state run clinics for women and children. There are prenting classes that are amazingly insightful for parents who are leaving the COG and feel incapable as paraents, there is plenty of state funded college programs for single parents. Also a reading list of some sort for those who would like a little more insight about cults, they don't have to be the real harsh bad mouthing books about cults and the COG (although those are the ones I prefer) but just to let them see for them selves that there are a lot of different kinds of religions and cults that are ran in a similar way and that they are not super freaky and the COG hasn't cornered the market on outlandish behavior and far out religion.
I think some of the main concerns I had about leaving the group was that I would never fit in to society, I was too special, too "one of God's choosen", too raised so differently than any one els in the system, what encouraged me was going to school and finding out that I am not so different at all, there are all types of cults and religions that think they have cornered the market on truth and the true way and there are pleanty of people who have lived through that. I think in the section of the site that you are going to set up for people just leaving, you should put in some good testemonials about when you first left, nothing to one sided, because when people first leave the last thing they need is for some one else to convince them of a certain way to feel about life, but just testemonials on first job interviews, or finding out where you fit in in the "system", what kind of things you found made sense to you ie: type of Job or school or area of study.
I think every one who joined, joined because they wanted something more than just a 9-5 day to day job pay my bills, eat fast food, watch tv, and then start it all over the next day. The Family thrives on telling people that there is nothing more than a mundane existance out side of the Family and that is why although some people are not happy in the family they figure it is better than being a part of a "Blob" that would enslave them to paying bills and a job they hate.
But all of us have truly found something to live for out here, we have found that life is what you make it and if we could share some of those things that make life really worth it to us, those leaving might see that grain of hope and they may search for a reason to live outside the Family. I know that is what scared the hell out of me, thinking I would be a slave to the system, but then I got here and saw how bueatiful and full life could be when you have a hunger for something and you acomplish something because of that hunger, I was so afraid that my motivation and my spirit would shrivel up and die. But instead I found that being the master of my own fate and cultivating desires until they finally became a goal then I acomplished it, it was the best spiritual experience I have ever had because it allowed my spirit to really grow. Then I started to become someone, someone who didn't need a leader or shepherd to tell me what to eat, who to sleep with and how to wipe my ass. Before I cultivated any disres that I had I couldn't even order off a menu in a resteruant, my dad took me out shopping and some one else had to pick every thing out, I was clueless.
