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In Reply to: Re: Resources to help ex-members posted by Donny on October 21, 2002 at 19:48:18:
If you've found a psychiatrist or counselor who has some knowledge of the dynamics of cult mind control, that's great. MV was saying she found someone helpful too. But my understanding is that most of them do not have a good grasp on the issues. Wish there were more of them out there.
I definitely believe mind control is a huge factor in what kept us in the cult. As I said above, "Cult mind control is real and without that factor in the equation, behavior cannot be understood fully. This is not to explain away bad or illegal things people did in the group. There is responsibility nevertheless."
What I meant by "responsibility nevertheless" is not that anyone who was ever in the group should flaggilate themselves forever, simply for being in the group and tithing. I meant that though we all did stupid, self-abusing, and hurtful things to ourselves and others, some people while in the group committed horrible crimes. I think the cult mind control, the intense fear and peer pressure, fear of God's judgments if we left the group, was what kept us in and kept us toeing the party line. A lot of the basic mindset is explained by that. But it's do defense for having committed horrible crimes and abuses.
For example, overall Mo's teachings and policies encouraged and fostered an atmosphere of self-righteousness, intolerance, judgmental attitudes and "soldier-like" strict treatment of members who "disobeyed rules." Yet all of us can remember shepherds who were still human (even though they were afflicted with the same horrible Berg spirit) and other sheperds who were absolute monsters. And, unfortunately, some formerly very decent people were transformed into monsters.
Mind control existed and was deliberate: we were constantly programmed to believe and obey and not doubt. And for those of us who did doubt, there were reading lists to reinforce our faith, shaming and rebuke sessions to embarrass and humiliate and beat us down, and finally there were the Victor Camps where screaming, hard physical labor as punishment and more confessions and humiliations were the order of the day. THAT was a deliberate, systematic effort to break us down, destroy our sense of self and critical thinking, and to make us unqestioningly obedient.
People do things under the control of a madman like Berg that they would not do in the light of day, once they break free of the cult's mind domination and regain control of their own critical thinking processes. There is stuff we can't imagine doing now, there is stuff no one could make us do now. You've described some of your experiences and how much the thought of forced sex disgusts you. So many people can identify with that. We've come out from under Berg's control and we're not the people we once were.
However, there are differences in the kind of people we were in the cult. For example, some of them really enjoyed torturing and smashing people in Victor Camps. Some of them really took the license to molest and rape children. Or to send pregnant mothers out with no support, weighing them down with hellfire and condemnation as they dump them on the streets with not a penny of support. Some people in the Family were more the abusers and perpetrators, others were more the victims.
Yes, it is very individual as to who we were and whether we were causing pain in the group, or were more victims than anything. This is for each of us to sort out, and also to make things right with those we have hurt in any way.
I wouldn't be surprised if many SGAs, those born and raised in the group, tend to view all adults as abusers, simply because many adults they knew had total power over them while they were vulnerable and defenceless. I wouldn't think that's a majority view, I hope not, but because adults sexually abused so many of them and sent them to Victor Camps and broke up their families, it's understandable that there is a lot of anger there. I would hope most SGAs can differentiate between those adults who were just there and rank-and-file members, maybe even cared and weren't bad to them, and those who abused power and made life hell for them when they were kids.
Divisions between generations are perfectly normal, and, while we were all victims to varying degrees, we as first generation members should not be suprised if SGAs want their space and their place, one that does not include us. For one thing, they relate better to people their own age who experienced growing up in the Family like they did. I am friends with a few SGAs but I can't say we hang out together. They have different issues to deal with, different interests, etc. Well, I don't suppose I'm telling you anything new.
Like Achieck says, if they choose to forgive individuals who hurt them, good for them. If they want to pursue things legally, that's also their right. There were some pretty evil people in the Family who definitey deserve to be behind bars. I've heard stories told to me in confidence that would make you sick to your stomach to hear. Really sad, twisted stuff, and people did those things because the Law of Love and the Story of Davidito gave them license to do so.
Does any of this clarify my thoughts?
