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In Reply to: but it unmaned the men posted by lydia on October 11, 2002 at 18:00:02:
Excellent points, Lydia. You know, I have a heart for Watchman. I know he did some pretty bad stuff and I'm really sad to hear what he did to you, Jesse. I think it's right for you to be mad at him for what he did and there's nothing wrong with speaking about it.
I can see where you would have the natural instinct to be glad he had died, because the one who had caused you pain was gone. I'm not saying that feeling is right, but it's natural.
I'll just give you my two cents worth and this may help in your letting go of anger. Watchman commited his sins, but in the end he too was caught in the monstrous machine of the cult and was horribly beaten down and emotionally and physically, and almost driven completely insane. Have you read his story about his experiences?
Watchman was ordered by leadership to have sex with an underaged girl and he had the uncommon guts to confess that on national TV on the Larry King show. Watchman had a lot of remorse for what he had done and I'm sure if he had met you (in the days after he had left the cult and had regained his own mind) he would have apoligized to you sincerely. For what it's worth, know that: he would have.
He's gone now and you will have to make your own peace. I wish you well. You are right to be angry about unjustified abuse to yourself and your daughter. Don't ever feel you have to disappear into a fluffy blanket of forgiveness and "God forgive me for being angry about anything."
Do what is right, Jesse. And if part of that is being able to finally let go and forgive Watchman, do that. But don't force it. If it comes, it comes. You take care, bro.
